All in a Decade

Its the very first few days of the New Year which brings me to the conclusion that just 10 years ago my life fell completely apart, & where I am today
In 2000 , the Millineum, was when I found out that my husband who I had filed for a divorce from and was sharing joint custody with , was facing a crime that he could possibly spend life behind bars from I had these three children to take care of and was in the worst possible health in my life! I wondered God Why now? Of all times why now? We were sharing the kids and getting along for the first time in eighteen years,I had my job at the hospital but my health was failing fast When all of this came about I felt like I was on the outside looking in I will never forget the day a friend took me to walmart to get groceries as my car had been repossessed and as we split the list to make the trip quicker and I took off down the aisle of Little Debbies I just couldnt make my feet move, So I just stood there with my buggy , I dont know how much time passed but when he came to get me with his buggy full of items mine was still empty, I had seen peoples mouths moving but I could not hear what they were saying I remember thinking, what is wrong with me, why cant I talk? So he gathered me up like a child in his arms leaving everything behind, and carried me out to the truck, took me home and put me in bed and tucked me in, told my oldest daughter to come get in with me and keep an eye on me. All I remembered that night was sleeping so deep, better than I had in weeks The next day I thought maybe this is what a nervous breakdown feels like and I never saw things thru those eyes again I went through a year of intense weeping, times of bitterness and numbness I thought the pain would never end I ached for my child that I could not make i to, I couldnt right his wrongs no matter how hard I wanted to, some of my children also would grow up without their dad being at their graduations, their weddings, all their milestones in life that your dad should be at, by his choices, they all have suffered I also thought I could chalk the last eighteen yrs of my life up to a complete and utter lie, or could I?
It was right after this that I lost my sister to a murder I just wondered when this sick joke was going to end
Fast forward a year and I met someone who I was instantly attracted and I was sure not looking,he was totally my opposite, I liked country boys with dark hair and dark eyes This stranger from Los Angeles had blonde hair to his butt and blue eyes and was the furthest thing from country you could get We formed a fast friendship and later a relationship At five weeks he asked me to marry him and I thought he was crazy, and he was, but crazy for me
A year later we were married That Christmas we had very little money and only a christmas tree big enough to put on an end table, I only had the money for like four presents and most were beanie babies so we wrapped them seperately to give the appearance of more , but we were happy
The next year we bought a house and things begin to get better financially as well as us bonding as a family
Almost two years later I was diagnosed with Lung cancer and had a portion of my rt lung removed I had tons of complications and instead of spending seven days in the hospital I stayed thirty It was a long year road of receovery For the second time in five years, my view of the world had changed
Two years later my mother in law and my father in law were both diagnosed with cancer and died , not only that ,it was three days apart from one another in different states I had put together a mothers day for my mother in law when she was first diagnosed, her last wish was all her kids and grandkids there, as we were boarding the plane we got the call my father in law had died My mother in law very much enjoyed her party then a lil while later, exactly eight hours before she passed away I died right before my husbands eyes I was in full cardiac arrest My husband and my brother in law brought me back not once, but twice by CPR I couldnt see and I was clinically dead, but I could hear Robert yelling "You cant leave me, You CANT do this to me" They saved my life that day I really wanted to go to be by my husbands side, but the Drs told me if I left I would die, I had such guilt of not being there , I loved her so very much
The next three yrs brought grandkids, graduations, and kids started to leave the nest
In March of 09 on a routine scan, my lung cancer came back in my other lung, I remember going by my husbands work crying uncontrollebly The first time i was never ever scared This time I knew was I was in for but by His grace it hasnt grown and I am in remission
In 2010 my husband has taken some college courses and I too am going back to school We have bought a home and our youngest child has left for college Oh the empty nest! I am just now adjusting and learning to appreacite this new found freedom
I look back on these ten years, I know with everything in me that God brought me this man to broaden my horizons,to learn more about the world as well as myself I am so thankful from where God has brought me in these last ten years I cant even express it But I do know I am in the best years of my life! I know there is still so much to learn, to experience & dreams to be revelaed! But ten years ago I never thought it was possible!