Hi my name is Laura Jones and I am pleased to be here with you for such a time as this
I was asked at the first of this year to be a part of this awesome opportunity called Relay for Life, and not only is it something very near and dear to me, but with it being my hometown it makes it even sweeter! I am very humbled and honored to be here and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this opportunity to share with you. I will start out by telling you a little bit about myself, I will be 41 yrs old Thursday , I am married I have four children , with two boys and two girls, with the last one going to college in the fall. I am originally from Graham but have lived in East Texas for 17 years now. I am a chaplain for Texas Dept Criminal Justice. I want not only to be able to share my story but also to be able give others hope, whether you have walked in my shoes, or whether you have had a family member who has been through this journey called cancer.
My story starts in Sept of 2004, I all of the sudden had a persistent cough I could not get rid of, the more I had to cough, the more needed to cough. I did not have any insurance so I ended up spending 2 months and about $200 trying to get rid of a cough, I tried everything. Then one night as I was slowly walking around the track across the street from my school, I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest, and I felt like I was being squeezed, so for this I would go to the doctor and have it checked out . The very next day Nov 4th I went into the clinic to see my Dr and he took X rays, being an EMT /Nurse and working with him for many yrs he told me right away that he saw a mass on my right lung and personally called the Pulmonologist, the Lung Dr, himself from his personal phone, And I knew then that it must be something he was very worried about, something serious. I did all the diff tests and blood work they wanted and three wks later I was sitting in Tyler face to face with the Pulmonologist, not long after introductions, he was sitting back in his chair with his feet up, with his surgery cap on, looking thru my paperwork, He knew I was medical background and he looks me straight in the eye and says "Do you want the good version of it or the not so good version?", I said "Do NOT sugarcoats and of it, this is my LIFE we are talking about!" So he slowly starts to tell me about the possibility of taking out the middle lobe of my right lung, how it is done, how its much like open heart surgery, how I would be in the hospital 10 days, and it would be a year recovery I said "what is the good news?" he says "We are going to give you very good drugs while you are there " I said ," So you do all this , what are my chances ?" and he got very quiet and was looking at the floor He said " We can do all of this we have discussed and you could have many complications, but if that’s what what you want to do we can do it on Jan 28th , I do not think your chances are great " I asked him again, "What are my chances, give it to me straight " He said "At the rate your tumor is growing it doesn’t look good at all, percentage wise I would say 1-2 % " I said "Cool, my God only needs 1% chance to move " I got up, shook his hand and said " I will see you on the 28th!"
I was never scared, not for a minute, my family was beside themselves, my preacher was really worried, but I had such peace, it is hard to explain. I did not know if I would win this battle, but I did know I would be healed here or there, either way, I would win! I felt like God had already given me my miracle, all I had to do was go through and endure my storms, and come out the other side! I never once stayed up at night worrying; I gave God everything I had, my time, my resources and my energy, no matter how little it seemed, and I felt that my willingness and surrender would activate Gods intervention and blessings in my life! And it did!
You see when you ignite just one possibility that things will be okay, you activate faith, which turns into hope! I did not deny there was a problem; I just saw it from a new perspective, which was from Gods eyes!
It was a trying time that month of Jan 05, 2 wks before my surgery , I spent 12 hrs days in McKinney enduring my sisters murder trial , the wk between the trial and my surgery, we did what the doctor said, and got our affairs in order and spent quality time as a family.
The day of surgery and throughout this whole process I had so many people praying for me, so much support.
When I was in recovery the Dr Came in with tears in his eyes and said “I think we got it all”
I couldn’t get out of bed for 10 days and was in the hospital for 30 days due to complications. It was the hardest thing I have ever been thru, and it was an intense year recovery.
There are two funny stories that happened while I was in the hospital, six days in because my blood pressure had dropped out, they had pain medicines and narcotics, and I was left do endure it with no meds, I was in a lot of pain but also because they did not wean me, I into severe withdrawals and was paranoid. I would draw things, wrote down a lot of words, and thought people were out to get all my things when they would come into the room, it was really bad, I finally felt like what a crack addict may feel like! What was worse is I knew I was doing it and everything that was going on but could not stop it! One day when the Dr came in, when he was leaving I went to shake his hand and said "you don’t care about the care bears do you!" He was shocked! He looked at my husband and said "she’s Progressing from the neck down, but I am sure worried about her from the neck up!" And then at 14 days I was having a lot of complications and had severe pneumonia and so the Dr came in and got close to my face and said “If you don’t get up outta the bed and walk further and further each day you might not leave this hospital " So I walked more and the next day I asked if I could walk outside the hospital and they said "yes just let us know where and when you are going " So i did, well I ended up walking too far and a lot of things began to look the same , it had started to rain so I walked up in a bus shelter, it rained for over an hr and it was very cold, and I was barefoot, a little while longer a security guard in his security truck came along and said "Are you Laura Jones?" I said "YES! I sure am!" And he said “Honey I have been looking for you!" and he took me back to the hospital!
When I got home from the hospital it was the last day of Feb and very cold, the first thing i did was take my walker and go across to the middle school and sit on a big boulder and just be in nature and listen . To just soak it in. I was gone so long my husband came to find me as I was supposed to be on bed rest, but I just wanted to savor the moment. The sunshine was breathtaking, even though it was 50 degrees outside, the grass seemed greener than before, and the birds seemed like they were singing just for me! I sat there almost 2 hours and I will never look through the same eyes again!
Have I had an easy time, no, in 07 while going out to give my mother in law in Ca her last wishes, which was a last moms day with all her kids and grandkids, 8 hours before she passed, I went into cardiac arrest and was brought back not once but twice by CPR by my husband and brother in law, I am not even medically supposed to be here, but I keep defying the odds as I know God has a plan and a purpose for me! He is not finished with me yet!
Then in March 09 my lung cancer came back in my left lung, found on a routine scan, I went to the doctor just a day before I came here and was told I am still in remission. And I will continue to focus on the positive
Since 05 I have seen my last two children graduate and another grandson born. I would not have had the joy of experiencing these things if I had not had the courage to fight back!
I will keep putting one foot in front of the other and sharing my story of hope as long as I am able to. If you look thru the eyes of faith, those small blessings you have won’t be overlooked. I am not in denial but I am not willing to give up Faith and hope is not ignoring the present reality, it is acknowledging that with God, all things are possible.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Sunday February 21,2010 Day 21
Integrity
If you only had one month to live you would want to review your character, your integrity. How have I acted? Have I been true to myself and others? You would want to learn from past mistakes,fix what you could ,and make peace with others. You would want your life to be whole and not settle for less than what you were made to be.
Integrity means wholeness ,not fractured. When you lack integrity you act one way at church and another way atyour job or school. A true sign of strength and character is to be the same no matter who we are with or where we are. Proverbs 28:6 says " Better to be a poor person who has integrity than to be rich and double dealing.
We can't put a price tag on integrity. When you have integrity it fills you with peace, passion, and a zest for life! It also brings extreme calmness in a crazy world!
Keeping up an image to impress people takes tremendous effort and endless amounts of energy. When what you see is what you get, that is integrity. Integrity is who you are when no one else is looking.
I have never been one to keep up to someone elses standards. But many people struggle with status in this world.
People lose integrity by lying. I have never tried much to lie as I didnt think I would be good at it. When you lie you have to rememeber who you told what and then make up another lie to cover the first one and on and on .I can't remember what I ate for breakfast let alone worrying about blowing my cover!
I know growing up my dad used to always say "Laura, dont you care what other people think?" I was a rebellious child and he was "someone" in town and I just did not care what people thought. Even when I was struggling , I wanted people to accept me for who I was.
Later in life when I truly thought I was living a life of integrity ,I know realize I wasn't as I would go out into the world and pretend things were perfect in church and our place of business while all the while I was living a terribly abused homelife. That is not integrity.
The real reason we lie is because we don't love enough. Lyingis an easy route for our own selfish convience. It's taking the easy road.If you risk loving , then you will tell the truth .The more you love , the less you lie. The more you love, the more you have the courage to tell the truth.
The great news is because the gift of the cross we have recieved a gift of a lifetime! We could never earn it or be good enough to get it on our own ! God loves us just because of who we are and not because of anything we have done. He can restore us and make our lives whole no matter how many times we have messed up!
Take a piece of paper and draw a large circle in the center of it, divide it into a pie with eight pieces, then label it with each section of your life, job, kids, hobbies, marriage , etc. Are you living out your values in each of these areas?
Some of these one month to live posts have exerpts from te book so what I write that applies to my own life will make sense, those that know me & how I write it is obvious what is mine and what is Exerpts, but I needed to add this , this applies to all my one month to live writings
If you only had one month to live you would want to review your character, your integrity. How have I acted? Have I been true to myself and others? You would want to learn from past mistakes,fix what you could ,and make peace with others. You would want your life to be whole and not settle for less than what you were made to be.
Integrity means wholeness ,not fractured. When you lack integrity you act one way at church and another way atyour job or school. A true sign of strength and character is to be the same no matter who we are with or where we are. Proverbs 28:6 says " Better to be a poor person who has integrity than to be rich and double dealing.
We can't put a price tag on integrity. When you have integrity it fills you with peace, passion, and a zest for life! It also brings extreme calmness in a crazy world!
Keeping up an image to impress people takes tremendous effort and endless amounts of energy. When what you see is what you get, that is integrity. Integrity is who you are when no one else is looking.
I have never been one to keep up to someone elses standards. But many people struggle with status in this world.
People lose integrity by lying. I have never tried much to lie as I didnt think I would be good at it. When you lie you have to rememeber who you told what and then make up another lie to cover the first one and on and on .I can't remember what I ate for breakfast let alone worrying about blowing my cover!
I know growing up my dad used to always say "Laura, dont you care what other people think?" I was a rebellious child and he was "someone" in town and I just did not care what people thought. Even when I was struggling , I wanted people to accept me for who I was.
Later in life when I truly thought I was living a life of integrity ,I know realize I wasn't as I would go out into the world and pretend things were perfect in church and our place of business while all the while I was living a terribly abused homelife. That is not integrity.
The real reason we lie is because we don't love enough. Lyingis an easy route for our own selfish convience. It's taking the easy road.If you risk loving , then you will tell the truth .The more you love , the less you lie. The more you love, the more you have the courage to tell the truth.
The great news is because the gift of the cross we have recieved a gift of a lifetime! We could never earn it or be good enough to get it on our own ! God loves us just because of who we are and not because of anything we have done. He can restore us and make our lives whole no matter how many times we have messed up!
Take a piece of paper and draw a large circle in the center of it, divide it into a pie with eight pieces, then label it with each section of your life, job, kids, hobbies, marriage , etc. Are you living out your values in each of these areas?
Some of these one month to live posts have exerpts from te book so what I write that applies to my own life will make sense, those that know me & how I write it is obvious what is mine and what is Exerpts, but I needed to add this , this applies to all my one month to live writings
Saturday February 20,2010 Day 20
Building a Foundation that Lasts
This chapter speaks to my heart in extra loud volumes!
I feel like I have had more changes and "earthquakes" in my life than most people would have if they lived lifetimes , but I have weathered through lifes storms and came out on the other side! I have lived through many losses. I have been robbed at gunpoint and left for dead, been homeless for a year with two children, and been in a abusive relationship for many years. But I have come out of it a stronger, more viable woman!
I think the only reason I have been sane at the end of these changes is because I know, who i know, whose child that I am !
I was drug to church when little whether you were sick , tired, had sports, it did not matter, you were to be at church, I often have told the kids, I was taught if you went out and partied till 3am you were still expected to get up at 9 am and go to church , it was just expected, no questions asked, but it gave me a sense of who I was and whom I belonged to .
I was made fun of in school for my way out of control hair and a speech impediment from a cleft palate, kids are cruel, but it somehow never affected my self confidence, as I knew at the end of the day , my God loved me unconditionally.
I think in this anything goes world , where are children are so boldly against the things of God, that , that kind of foundation is missing terribly.
An unshakable foundation is is the key to building a meaningful life,a lasting marriage, strong friendships, and successful businesses. Matthew 27:24-25 even tells about he man who builds his foundation on a rock.
I know at times in my life I have built my foundation on men, money,cars, and many things that would not last. And in the end , I have turned right back to my Saviour, the only thing that truly lasts!
You can't always predict when storms will come, but you can build your foundation on solid ground, that when the storms do come, and they will, your center will be strong enough to hold things together.
I know in 2000 our house burned, and we had lost everything .We had made more money in that year than ever before. Were we living "bad", no, but I certainly that year was not putting God first and foremost in my life. The fire happened twelve days after Christmas, and four months after adding on a room so that the oldest could have her own room. Losing a house and all your possesions is a very hurtful thing to go through. But i KNEW we would be okay. A friend of mine who was a fireman gave me a motel room for the night, and the first thingI did was get down on my knees at the end of the bed and thank God for my life and that we were all okay. My husband at the time was not saved and he was literally distraught. He did not have that solid foundation to pull from . I knew that I knew we would be okay. We would put one foot in front of the other and rebuild our lives.Unfortuantely for him, the loss was so huge, and our marriage of eighteeen years was not built on that solid foundation and ended in divorce the next year.
Did God cause that fire, I don't think so , but I do think He does sometimes knock us to our knees to show us whats more imporatant in life!
I describe it like this .I have always said no matter where my kids are what they are going through , I want my kids to always have God as their point of reference , to go to , and to seek advice, and weather any storm they may face! If you are committed to loving God and seeking a relationship with Him, he will hold you in His arms and never let you go!
What does you life revolove around right now? Who or what is at the center of your lifes wheel?
Describe the last time you have experienced the tremors of an earthquake in your life~your most recent trial.In what ways did it turn your life upside down? How are you different now and would you describe your relationship with God as stronger or weaker in the aftermath ?
This chapter speaks to my heart in extra loud volumes!
I feel like I have had more changes and "earthquakes" in my life than most people would have if they lived lifetimes , but I have weathered through lifes storms and came out on the other side! I have lived through many losses. I have been robbed at gunpoint and left for dead, been homeless for a year with two children, and been in a abusive relationship for many years. But I have come out of it a stronger, more viable woman!
I think the only reason I have been sane at the end of these changes is because I know, who i know, whose child that I am !
I was drug to church when little whether you were sick , tired, had sports, it did not matter, you were to be at church, I often have told the kids, I was taught if you went out and partied till 3am you were still expected to get up at 9 am and go to church , it was just expected, no questions asked, but it gave me a sense of who I was and whom I belonged to .
I was made fun of in school for my way out of control hair and a speech impediment from a cleft palate, kids are cruel, but it somehow never affected my self confidence, as I knew at the end of the day , my God loved me unconditionally.
I think in this anything goes world , where are children are so boldly against the things of God, that , that kind of foundation is missing terribly.
An unshakable foundation is is the key to building a meaningful life,a lasting marriage, strong friendships, and successful businesses. Matthew 27:24-25 even tells about he man who builds his foundation on a rock.
I know at times in my life I have built my foundation on men, money,cars, and many things that would not last. And in the end , I have turned right back to my Saviour, the only thing that truly lasts!
You can't always predict when storms will come, but you can build your foundation on solid ground, that when the storms do come, and they will, your center will be strong enough to hold things together.
I know in 2000 our house burned, and we had lost everything .We had made more money in that year than ever before. Were we living "bad", no, but I certainly that year was not putting God first and foremost in my life. The fire happened twelve days after Christmas, and four months after adding on a room so that the oldest could have her own room. Losing a house and all your possesions is a very hurtful thing to go through. But i KNEW we would be okay. A friend of mine who was a fireman gave me a motel room for the night, and the first thingI did was get down on my knees at the end of the bed and thank God for my life and that we were all okay. My husband at the time was not saved and he was literally distraught. He did not have that solid foundation to pull from . I knew that I knew we would be okay. We would put one foot in front of the other and rebuild our lives.Unfortuantely for him, the loss was so huge, and our marriage of eighteeen years was not built on that solid foundation and ended in divorce the next year.
Did God cause that fire, I don't think so , but I do think He does sometimes knock us to our knees to show us whats more imporatant in life!
I describe it like this .I have always said no matter where my kids are what they are going through , I want my kids to always have God as their point of reference , to go to , and to seek advice, and weather any storm they may face! If you are committed to loving God and seeking a relationship with Him, he will hold you in His arms and never let you go!
What does you life revolove around right now? Who or what is at the center of your lifes wheel?
Describe the last time you have experienced the tremors of an earthquake in your life~your most recent trial.In what ways did it turn your life upside down? How are you different now and would you describe your relationship with God as stronger or weaker in the aftermath ?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday February 19, 2010 Day 19
Changing from the Inside out
People who are at the end of their lives often make radical life changes. They make amends, quit cussing, spend time with God and alone , and spend time with those they love.
I have noticed many times when being with my patients who are nearing the end that get this "distance " if you will, between them and their loved ones and the world itself. I think it is because they are beginning to accept their fate and are also in the middle of big changes from the inside out. They rediscover simple pleasures that we often take for granted such as a sunny day , a good nap, and a pleasant day.
I know when I got home from my lung cancer surgery in 2005 the very first thing I did was take my walker and go across to the school grounds and sit on a big boulder and just be in nature and listen. To just soak it in. It was a cold February day but I never noticed . I was gone so long my husband went to find me as I was supposed to be on bedrest. But I just wanted to savor the moment. The sunshine was breathtaking even though it was fifty degrees. The grass seemed much greener than before and the birds singing getting ready for spring was like angels singing to me . I sat there almost two hours and I will never see things through the same eyes again.
If you had one month to live you would most likely slow down and take a different approach to each and every day you had left.
In this busy busy world with technology at our fingertips we have forgotten how to relax. We have difficulty spending time alone. We don't know how to connect with ourselves or those we love the most.
We are always moving up the ladder to the next big promotion , bigger car or bigger house trying to satisfy ourselves. And the more we make the more we spend. So we never really get "caught up". And the empty hole is never filled . I have preached so many times on the God shaped hole. You can fill with everything in life you want to but only He can fill that space he was meant to be in.
The desires we have aren't always bad it is what motivates them that is troubling.
The secret to faith filled maturity is to be changed from the inside out , a metamorphosis of the soul. Like a butterfly , a caterpillar forms from a chrysalis and begins the process of tunring into something beautiful with wings. It doesn't wait for something to change , it changes from the inside out , all that it is created to be.
Too often we wait on something external to change us . But all the reasons in the world we can think of for not changing only delays the inevitable if we're serious about having healthy , dynamic souls.
I have heard the saying since I was a rebellious teen, that "wherever you go , there you are" and for years didn't have a clue what it meant. You can run but you can't hide. It's not about what's on the outside , it's what's in the inside .
I have also done a lot of volunteer work. i went to Pascagoula Mississippi after Hurrican Katrina , I was volunteer of the year at my son's school when he was in kindergarten, and volunteered to be there with oe of my very best friends in ninety nine when she took her last breath as her children could not bear it. I have found that in these times where I am offering up myself for service , for something or someone who can't give anything in return is when I can connect fully and enage with my soul , and it's also when I think about bringing about more change ,from the inside out.
Plan this week to spend one hour alone and uninteruppted.Go where you will not be disturbed . Take nothing to do while you are there and just ponder on how you can go about making changes , even small ones , to help you start to change from the inside out.out
People who are at the end of their lives often make radical life changes. They make amends, quit cussing, spend time with God and alone , and spend time with those they love.
I have noticed many times when being with my patients who are nearing the end that get this "distance " if you will, between them and their loved ones and the world itself. I think it is because they are beginning to accept their fate and are also in the middle of big changes from the inside out. They rediscover simple pleasures that we often take for granted such as a sunny day , a good nap, and a pleasant day.
I know when I got home from my lung cancer surgery in 2005 the very first thing I did was take my walker and go across to the school grounds and sit on a big boulder and just be in nature and listen. To just soak it in. It was a cold February day but I never noticed . I was gone so long my husband went to find me as I was supposed to be on bedrest. But I just wanted to savor the moment. The sunshine was breathtaking even though it was fifty degrees. The grass seemed much greener than before and the birds singing getting ready for spring was like angels singing to me . I sat there almost two hours and I will never see things through the same eyes again.
If you had one month to live you would most likely slow down and take a different approach to each and every day you had left.
In this busy busy world with technology at our fingertips we have forgotten how to relax. We have difficulty spending time alone. We don't know how to connect with ourselves or those we love the most.
We are always moving up the ladder to the next big promotion , bigger car or bigger house trying to satisfy ourselves. And the more we make the more we spend. So we never really get "caught up". And the empty hole is never filled . I have preached so many times on the God shaped hole. You can fill with everything in life you want to but only He can fill that space he was meant to be in.
The desires we have aren't always bad it is what motivates them that is troubling.
The secret to faith filled maturity is to be changed from the inside out , a metamorphosis of the soul. Like a butterfly , a caterpillar forms from a chrysalis and begins the process of tunring into something beautiful with wings. It doesn't wait for something to change , it changes from the inside out , all that it is created to be.
Too often we wait on something external to change us . But all the reasons in the world we can think of for not changing only delays the inevitable if we're serious about having healthy , dynamic souls.
I have heard the saying since I was a rebellious teen, that "wherever you go , there you are" and for years didn't have a clue what it meant. You can run but you can't hide. It's not about what's on the outside , it's what's in the inside .
I have also done a lot of volunteer work. i went to Pascagoula Mississippi after Hurrican Katrina , I was volunteer of the year at my son's school when he was in kindergarten, and volunteered to be there with oe of my very best friends in ninety nine when she took her last breath as her children could not bear it. I have found that in these times where I am offering up myself for service , for something or someone who can't give anything in return is when I can connect fully and enage with my soul , and it's also when I think about bringing about more change ,from the inside out.
Plan this week to spend one hour alone and uninteruppted.Go where you will not be disturbed . Take nothing to do while you are there and just ponder on how you can go about making changes , even small ones , to help you start to change from the inside out.out
Thursday February 18, 2010 Day 18
Today was about the Winds of Change
This is very dear to my heart and the first thing that comes to mind is our blended family. I was married for eighteen years and and had the husband , a successful business and the white picket fence to boot. When we divorced I still remember to this day my youngest child telling me on the phone while visiting her Dad, at eight years old "Mom I don't WANT our family to be broken up!" while her voice was quivering. How do you tell your child that you can't live in an abusive situation any longer? That you finally realize that by your actions you are teaching your girls WHAT to look for in a man and that you are teaching your son HOW to be a man?
She's not old enough to understand nor does she care, she just wants her family as she knows it to continue.
So , yes I know all about change. I have had many in my life but I think it was one of the biggest.
When changes in life come alomg we must choose how we respond.We all at some point or another get blindsided by an unexpected tragedy or crisis. We can't change these hurricanes that blow into our lives but we can learn from prior storms. And storms will come ..sooner or later. The only permenant thing in life is change. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "To everything there is a season , a time for every purpose under heaven".
The winds of change will either make you stronger or knock you out of the race. Change is just a part of life. In marriages problems will either draw you closer or destroy your relationship. Changes can destroy your spirit or make you stronger than ever. It can snuff out your dreams or inspire you. It all depends on how you respond.
In the middle of blows taht life deals us we can be tempted to cling to the past and the way thing used to be. Everyone knows someone who can't adapt to change. The wind shifts directions and they scramble for security. They keep reminising about the "good ole days".
The reality is if we don't adapt to the winds of change we will never enjoy life. Change is frightening , uncertain, and can create anxiety but it also can be healthy, dynamic , refreshing and necessary. We must embrace the fact that our ship will encounter storms at times. Life is not found in navigating around these winds of change :the abundant life is found IN these life changes. For a long time kept waiting for things to get better , for things to settle down, for things to go my way so my Real life could begin, then I realized this WAS my life and it was passing me by.
God doesn't cause the painful things in our life but He does use them and wants to bring good out of them. I try and find a positive for every negative. I have dishes to wash because I have food to eat.
Reality makes us change how we view the world and perspective can clarify our priorities. If you only had one month to live you would only want to focus on today , but in our crazy busy world we often lose sight of what matters most.
While we must learn to adapt to change we must also must know when to stay fixed in place.
When hurricane winds blow into your life, remember that God knows right where you are. Maybe it feels like He isn't even around and you are all alone. Even when you don't feel His presense He is right there beside you , He has never left. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future". No matter how devastating the storm, He will see you through it .
How has your faith sustained you through some of lifes storms? With the last storm you went through, what did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about God?
Spend some time in prayer thanking Him for being your anchor and for the ways He conTinually takes care of you , no matter what the circumstance.
This is very dear to my heart and the first thing that comes to mind is our blended family. I was married for eighteen years and and had the husband , a successful business and the white picket fence to boot. When we divorced I still remember to this day my youngest child telling me on the phone while visiting her Dad, at eight years old "Mom I don't WANT our family to be broken up!" while her voice was quivering. How do you tell your child that you can't live in an abusive situation any longer? That you finally realize that by your actions you are teaching your girls WHAT to look for in a man and that you are teaching your son HOW to be a man?
She's not old enough to understand nor does she care, she just wants her family as she knows it to continue.
So , yes I know all about change. I have had many in my life but I think it was one of the biggest.
When changes in life come alomg we must choose how we respond.We all at some point or another get blindsided by an unexpected tragedy or crisis. We can't change these hurricanes that blow into our lives but we can learn from prior storms. And storms will come ..sooner or later. The only permenant thing in life is change. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "To everything there is a season , a time for every purpose under heaven".
The winds of change will either make you stronger or knock you out of the race. Change is just a part of life. In marriages problems will either draw you closer or destroy your relationship. Changes can destroy your spirit or make you stronger than ever. It can snuff out your dreams or inspire you. It all depends on how you respond.
In the middle of blows taht life deals us we can be tempted to cling to the past and the way thing used to be. Everyone knows someone who can't adapt to change. The wind shifts directions and they scramble for security. They keep reminising about the "good ole days".
The reality is if we don't adapt to the winds of change we will never enjoy life. Change is frightening , uncertain, and can create anxiety but it also can be healthy, dynamic , refreshing and necessary. We must embrace the fact that our ship will encounter storms at times. Life is not found in navigating around these winds of change :the abundant life is found IN these life changes. For a long time kept waiting for things to get better , for things to settle down, for things to go my way so my Real life could begin, then I realized this WAS my life and it was passing me by.
God doesn't cause the painful things in our life but He does use them and wants to bring good out of them. I try and find a positive for every negative. I have dishes to wash because I have food to eat.
Reality makes us change how we view the world and perspective can clarify our priorities. If you only had one month to live you would only want to focus on today , but in our crazy busy world we often lose sight of what matters most.
While we must learn to adapt to change we must also must know when to stay fixed in place.
When hurricane winds blow into your life, remember that God knows right where you are. Maybe it feels like He isn't even around and you are all alone. Even when you don't feel His presense He is right there beside you , He has never left. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future". No matter how devastating the storm, He will see you through it .
How has your faith sustained you through some of lifes storms? With the last storm you went through, what did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about God?
Spend some time in prayer thanking Him for being your anchor and for the ways He conTinually takes care of you , no matter what the circumstance.
Tuesday February 16,2010 Day 16
Discovering Who You Were meant To Be
Who am I ? What is my niche , my passion? Who have you created me to be?
How do we discover who we were meant to be?
I do not believe that anyone was born by accident but that we are all born with a purpose. I think whatever our purpose is it is meant to ultimately glorify Him but I also think it should bring us joy along the way.
I feel closest to God and closer to who I am when i am in nature. The oceans, the woods, even a gentle breeze , you have to realize then that there is a God in the grand scheme of things. That there is a Master designer.
I know people at different times in their lives say "I need to find myself" I think at this point and time they have quit really living and are merely existing. They don't know their place in life and have forgotten who they are .
I also believe that you think at different times in your life that you are made for different things. I know when I was thirty two when my health began to fail and I could not be a EMT or Nurse that I really began to struggle with who am I ?
Now I know years later that I was so consumed with my career that I did not know who I was outside of that identity. It forced me to look at other avenues of who am I really? Which was a good thing. I don't think we are made to just be worker bees.
I realized then , after a few years, that my gardening skiils were a lot more broader versions than I thought, that I had writing skills, and that i could enjoy sometimes just being able to take the kids to school myself.
Satan tells us that we are no good. That even if we did try something we would falter. You have failed and are worthless. He tries to shatter our confidence and who we are made to be. But God's word says "You are my child. You are a child of the King. You are forgiven . You are valuable. You are worth So much to me I gave my own son. You are worth that much. Ephesians 2:10 says "We are Gods workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to good works , which God prepared in advance for us to do"
You must gravitate towards your strengths. We are taught to be "well rounded " from a young age. To follow tradition , to color inside the lines and to stay inside the box. But God never meant for us to be well rounded. He has gifted each of us uniquely. We are supposed to focus on what we are good at and let go of what we're not good at. I am not a good singer! I do sing a big part of most days as I love to praise Him and to Him it's a joyful noise, but I would never try out for a singing part. But I am working on being a better writer, a better communicator and a better person. Our greatest potential lies in the areas of our greatest strengths.
We learn more about who we are by focusing on Him, as we are created in His image.
As we develop a closer relationship with our creator as the source of who we are, we become more like Him and it hinders the enemy's attempts to steal our identity.
Make a list of your strengths, everything you can think of, now go back over your list and and beside each one write how much time this past week you have devoted to using or improving this gift.
Who am I ? What is my niche , my passion? Who have you created me to be?
How do we discover who we were meant to be?
I do not believe that anyone was born by accident but that we are all born with a purpose. I think whatever our purpose is it is meant to ultimately glorify Him but I also think it should bring us joy along the way.
I feel closest to God and closer to who I am when i am in nature. The oceans, the woods, even a gentle breeze , you have to realize then that there is a God in the grand scheme of things. That there is a Master designer.
I know people at different times in their lives say "I need to find myself" I think at this point and time they have quit really living and are merely existing. They don't know their place in life and have forgotten who they are .
I also believe that you think at different times in your life that you are made for different things. I know when I was thirty two when my health began to fail and I could not be a EMT or Nurse that I really began to struggle with who am I ?
Now I know years later that I was so consumed with my career that I did not know who I was outside of that identity. It forced me to look at other avenues of who am I really? Which was a good thing. I don't think we are made to just be worker bees.
I realized then , after a few years, that my gardening skiils were a lot more broader versions than I thought, that I had writing skills, and that i could enjoy sometimes just being able to take the kids to school myself.
Satan tells us that we are no good. That even if we did try something we would falter. You have failed and are worthless. He tries to shatter our confidence and who we are made to be. But God's word says "You are my child. You are a child of the King. You are forgiven . You are valuable. You are worth So much to me I gave my own son. You are worth that much. Ephesians 2:10 says "We are Gods workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to good works , which God prepared in advance for us to do"
You must gravitate towards your strengths. We are taught to be "well rounded " from a young age. To follow tradition , to color inside the lines and to stay inside the box. But God never meant for us to be well rounded. He has gifted each of us uniquely. We are supposed to focus on what we are good at and let go of what we're not good at. I am not a good singer! I do sing a big part of most days as I love to praise Him and to Him it's a joyful noise, but I would never try out for a singing part. But I am working on being a better writer, a better communicator and a better person. Our greatest potential lies in the areas of our greatest strengths.
We learn more about who we are by focusing on Him, as we are created in His image.
As we develop a closer relationship with our creator as the source of who we are, we become more like Him and it hinders the enemy's attempts to steal our identity.
Make a list of your strengths, everything you can think of, now go back over your list and and beside each one write how much time this past week you have devoted to using or improving this gift.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Sunday February 14, 2010 Day 14 Grateful for
Iam grateful for
1. Our TGIF Group tonight
2. A not so busy day today
3.Mr Sunshine
4. The weekend being here
5. That Meagen is doing well after her surgery on Thursday
1. Our TGIF Group tonight
2. A not so busy day today
3.Mr Sunshine
4. The weekend being here
5. That Meagen is doing well after her surgery on Thursday
Sunday February 14, 2010 Day 14
Having a Grateful Attitude
Today to me was having a grateful attitude about things in your life no matter what the circumstances.
Most people who are reaching the end of their lives know how important it is to be grateful for little things that we often take for granted. They know what it means to have a grateful heart.
Doing Hospice for eight years I have seen people with less than twenty four hours who have a big smile on their face and are just grateful that they have just one more day .
I experienced it personally in 2007 when my mother in law was dying. I had asked her when she was diagnosed in January what she wanted more than anything before she passed. She said she wanted a Mothers Day with her kids and grandkids, so I went about putting it together.
She lived in California so I called each boy and made sure they arranged days off work and we all had plane tickets way in advance .
I truly believe that it is the only reason she lived that long. We had her Mothers Day and she died the very next day. She had been in and out of it the day prior but the day of she was very lucid and was sitting up on the couch and was able to visit with each one. She also was aware of everything that was going on. And remarkably that very day she was in very little pain. I know that day was a gift.
She had hope the whole four months that she lived. And she was grateful for each card, each visitor , and each day.
Being grateful means to count the positives instead of the negatives. Gratitude can heal us spiritually and emotionally. It opens up our hearts to God and enables us to experience life to the fullest. It can increase our capacity to love.
Ingratitude does the opposite.It causes our hearts to become cold and blocks the flow of Gods wisdom and also blocks our blessings. Whenever I am negative I feel like God is disappointed in me . I feel like it is a slap in His face after all He has blessed me with.
I fully appreciate every minute he has given me , living life to the fullest.
My husband and I keep a gratefullness journal. each night before we go to bed we come up with at least five things that we are grateful for .It might be as large as a new job or even just a nap!
That is thrity five things a week and one hundred fourty a month! When you have a down day you have that to look through and see how blessed you are!
It keeps us walking in gratefulness . And helps the attitude of the glass half full.
Today to me was having a grateful attitude about things in your life no matter what the circumstances.
Most people who are reaching the end of their lives know how important it is to be grateful for little things that we often take for granted. They know what it means to have a grateful heart.
Doing Hospice for eight years I have seen people with less than twenty four hours who have a big smile on their face and are just grateful that they have just one more day .
I experienced it personally in 2007 when my mother in law was dying. I had asked her when she was diagnosed in January what she wanted more than anything before she passed. She said she wanted a Mothers Day with her kids and grandkids, so I went about putting it together.
She lived in California so I called each boy and made sure they arranged days off work and we all had plane tickets way in advance .
I truly believe that it is the only reason she lived that long. We had her Mothers Day and she died the very next day. She had been in and out of it the day prior but the day of she was very lucid and was sitting up on the couch and was able to visit with each one. She also was aware of everything that was going on. And remarkably that very day she was in very little pain. I know that day was a gift.
She had hope the whole four months that she lived. And she was grateful for each card, each visitor , and each day.
Being grateful means to count the positives instead of the negatives. Gratitude can heal us spiritually and emotionally. It opens up our hearts to God and enables us to experience life to the fullest. It can increase our capacity to love.
Ingratitude does the opposite.It causes our hearts to become cold and blocks the flow of Gods wisdom and also blocks our blessings. Whenever I am negative I feel like God is disappointed in me . I feel like it is a slap in His face after all He has blessed me with.
I fully appreciate every minute he has given me , living life to the fullest.
My husband and I keep a gratefullness journal. each night before we go to bed we come up with at least five things that we are grateful for .It might be as large as a new job or even just a nap!
That is thrity five things a week and one hundred fourty a month! When you have a down day you have that to look through and see how blessed you are!
It keeps us walking in gratefulness . And helps the attitude of the glass half full.
Friday February 12, 2010 Day 12
Today was Resolving Conflicts by Fighting Fair .
If you only had one month to live ,you would want to know how to push through lingering issues and finally resolve conflicts with those you love.
We all have conflict management tatics that reflect our temperments, our experiences, or the examples we have had growing up.
Before you have a confrontation, you have to tell that person that you are committed to finding a solution together. No calling names or bringing up past mistakes will help the issue at hand.
God forgives us of our past mistakes just as we should forgive others, and past could even mean five minutes ago. You should be willing to endure the unpleasant feelings that come with confrontation because you value the relationship and want to perserve it.
Do not attack but do own your own feelings. If you accept the responsibility of your own mistakes you will be growing instead of wounding and regretting.
The Bible says be anger but sin not. Jesus got angry, he expressed his emotions, but he never sinned. But we must be able to deal with our anger and channel it so that the outcome is the Fathers will. The key is to walk with Him daily. This is the real secret to overcoming conflict and reconciling.
Describe in writing the last major conflict you had with a loved one. Imagine you are a spectator.
Was it a fair fight? What could you do from now on to lead to reconciliation?
If you only had one month to live ,you would want to know how to push through lingering issues and finally resolve conflicts with those you love.
We all have conflict management tatics that reflect our temperments, our experiences, or the examples we have had growing up.
Before you have a confrontation, you have to tell that person that you are committed to finding a solution together. No calling names or bringing up past mistakes will help the issue at hand.
God forgives us of our past mistakes just as we should forgive others, and past could even mean five minutes ago. You should be willing to endure the unpleasant feelings that come with confrontation because you value the relationship and want to perserve it.
Do not attack but do own your own feelings. If you accept the responsibility of your own mistakes you will be growing instead of wounding and regretting.
The Bible says be anger but sin not. Jesus got angry, he expressed his emotions, but he never sinned. But we must be able to deal with our anger and channel it so that the outcome is the Fathers will. The key is to walk with Him daily. This is the real secret to overcoming conflict and reconciling.
Describe in writing the last major conflict you had with a loved one. Imagine you are a spectator.
Was it a fair fight? What could you do from now on to lead to reconciliation?
Thursday February 11, 2010 Day 11
Scaling the Obstacles of Unity
We all know it can be a steep climb from where we are to where we actually want to be .
We can't read each others minds no matter how alike we may be. We are all human so misinterpretation and misunderstandings are inevitable.
Sometimes we seem to have a "me first"attitude. It's just human nature to say "I 'll meet your needs is you meet mine". When I thought about this , I am one of the most selfless people that i know. But i can say truthfully , even though I love my husband from the depths of my soul, I still expect him to do a few things to keep me chasing after him. I say my love is unconditional, but is it really? And sometimes I would like to get my needs met without thinking about what those around me need. We have to learn how to compromise and discover creative solutions that meets the needs of both people.
We all have faults and mess up. Many relationships are buried by the mountain of mistakes. Every one of us has been hurt.You want to protect yourself from being hurt again, but this only leads back to the "me first" attitude. We have to be the kind of people who face obstacles and keep moving ahead. To really love people in our lives we have to learn to work through the mistakes and push beyond our self interests. We have to grow in willingness and our ability to be able to pour ourselves into those we love. Motivating them to stay on the right track, and empowering them to perservere.
Acceptance means to stop trying to CHANGE people and sart CHERISHING them. And cherishing someone means you value them enough to understand them . I once asked my husband to mop the floor when we only had like fifteen minutes before leaving somewhere. I had the water and mop ready to go all he had to do was mop it , I would even let out the water and put the mop away. I needed him to do is I was having back probelms. He mopped it but it took him thirty minutes, I mean every square inch was glistening and you could have offered guests in to eat off it. I did not get mad that we were now late, I instead understood that he does everything one hundred and ten percent, that is one of the reasons I was attracted to him. But I did realize that if I wanted him to do something for me to allow plenty of time as he was going to do it his way and it was going to be done right.
Obstacles, misunderstandings, selfishness, and mistakes are part of every relationship, but we can overcome them and grow closer if we are willing to practice acceptance, loving actions and ongoing forgiveness.
Write down what you think each important relationship in your life needs to be healthier.
It may be as simple as spending more time together or discussing an unspoken issue.
We all know it can be a steep climb from where we are to where we actually want to be .
We can't read each others minds no matter how alike we may be. We are all human so misinterpretation and misunderstandings are inevitable.
Sometimes we seem to have a "me first"attitude. It's just human nature to say "I 'll meet your needs is you meet mine". When I thought about this , I am one of the most selfless people that i know. But i can say truthfully , even though I love my husband from the depths of my soul, I still expect him to do a few things to keep me chasing after him. I say my love is unconditional, but is it really? And sometimes I would like to get my needs met without thinking about what those around me need. We have to learn how to compromise and discover creative solutions that meets the needs of both people.
We all have faults and mess up. Many relationships are buried by the mountain of mistakes. Every one of us has been hurt.You want to protect yourself from being hurt again, but this only leads back to the "me first" attitude. We have to be the kind of people who face obstacles and keep moving ahead. To really love people in our lives we have to learn to work through the mistakes and push beyond our self interests. We have to grow in willingness and our ability to be able to pour ourselves into those we love. Motivating them to stay on the right track, and empowering them to perservere.
Acceptance means to stop trying to CHANGE people and sart CHERISHING them. And cherishing someone means you value them enough to understand them . I once asked my husband to mop the floor when we only had like fifteen minutes before leaving somewhere. I had the water and mop ready to go all he had to do was mop it , I would even let out the water and put the mop away. I needed him to do is I was having back probelms. He mopped it but it took him thirty minutes, I mean every square inch was glistening and you could have offered guests in to eat off it. I did not get mad that we were now late, I instead understood that he does everything one hundred and ten percent, that is one of the reasons I was attracted to him. But I did realize that if I wanted him to do something for me to allow plenty of time as he was going to do it his way and it was going to be done right.
Obstacles, misunderstandings, selfishness, and mistakes are part of every relationship, but we can overcome them and grow closer if we are willing to practice acceptance, loving actions and ongoing forgiveness.
Write down what you think each important relationship in your life needs to be healthier.
It may be as simple as spending more time together or discussing an unspoken issue.
Wednesday February 10, 2010 Day 10
Exploring the Depths of Forgiveness
I could write ten books on this subject, as it seems I have been having to forgive people almost since the day I was born. Now it is almost automatic. I know I MUST forgive as it only holds me prisoner to the one I need to forgive , and certainly gives them power over me if I don't.
And no one deserves to have that kind of power over you.
But I can tell you it sure hasn't always been automatic or near as easy.
I used to be very bitter and felt like forgiving was condoning the behavior. And it doesn't. But at one time you couldn't have convinced me otherwise. I felt like if I forgave a wrong , it was like saying , bring it on, come do it to me again. My unforgiveness was so bad and so all consuming that it seethed out in all areas of my life. I would not try and get revenge as I always knew the Lords sweet revenge would be much more than I could ever do , but I wasn't about to forgive you, or forget.
I had been through more in my first twenty two years than most people endure in a lifetime, and was so mad about it it effected everything that I did .
But as I became older and more mature in the Lord, I realized that I don't have a choice but to forgive, it is not an option. In Colassians 3:13 Jesus commands us to forgive if we want to follow Him. Our feelings and the consequences may linger, but our very survival depends on it.
If you try and live without forgiving you will not survive. It is essential . Otherwise we will drown in bitterness. The deeper you allow yourself to go into the ocean of bitterness, the more you will feel the pressure and the stress. Eventually the pressure will become so intense that your relationships, joy, and health will be affected.
We think if we hold on to our hurt that we are only getting back to those who hurt us but in reality we are only hurting ourselves. If we want to live our lives to the fullest, we must release the bitterness.
We exhale our anger and bitteness by being honest about our feelings , both towards others and towards God. I can tell you I haven't ever been mad at God , I knew if things were screwed up that it was surely my doing, but I sure have been mad at people.We don"t always like to admit we have been offended or hurt, pride fuels our deception, yet inside we are seething. If our anger goes unchecked, it soons becomes malignant bitterness. If you could die from bitterness I would be long gone.
We don't always like forgiving others but that is okay, it is not a feeling. We forgive because we make a conscious decision to do so. I once heard that forgiveness is to set the prisoner free and that prisoner is you.
Bitterness blocks our blessings. If you open up to God by forgiving and praying for those who hurt you , then blessing can start to flow again. Healing starts to occur in your soul.
We can't give what we haven't received. We know we have received forgiveness, but we don't really understand the depths of God's mercy, which makes it harder to forgive others. If I can understand just a little but of how much Christ loves me , it's a whole lot easier to forgive others who have hurt me.
Until you experience the fullness of God's grace and forgiveness , you will never be able to forgive others. You will never be at peace and see the vision He has for your life. You will never experience the blessings He wants to pour out on you. Forgiveness is not a shallow experience, it means digging deep.
If you only had one month to live, wouldn't you want to move beyond the shallows into the cleansing ocean of forgiveness? I know I would. When I first started forgiving , I did it for selfish reasons , The Bible says that we must forgive others, if not , our Father in heaven will not forgive us, and I sure have done things I want to be forgiven for. I also don't think forgiveness is a once in awhile experience , I think it is a lifestyle.
Make a list of the people you need to forgive. Write down the offense, what they did to hurt you , next to their name. Also write down who you need to ask forgiveness from. Ask God to help you in the coming days to enable you to forgive others as well as be forgiven.
I could write ten books on this subject, as it seems I have been having to forgive people almost since the day I was born. Now it is almost automatic. I know I MUST forgive as it only holds me prisoner to the one I need to forgive , and certainly gives them power over me if I don't.
And no one deserves to have that kind of power over you.
But I can tell you it sure hasn't always been automatic or near as easy.
I used to be very bitter and felt like forgiving was condoning the behavior. And it doesn't. But at one time you couldn't have convinced me otherwise. I felt like if I forgave a wrong , it was like saying , bring it on, come do it to me again. My unforgiveness was so bad and so all consuming that it seethed out in all areas of my life. I would not try and get revenge as I always knew the Lords sweet revenge would be much more than I could ever do , but I wasn't about to forgive you, or forget.
I had been through more in my first twenty two years than most people endure in a lifetime, and was so mad about it it effected everything that I did .
But as I became older and more mature in the Lord, I realized that I don't have a choice but to forgive, it is not an option. In Colassians 3:13 Jesus commands us to forgive if we want to follow Him. Our feelings and the consequences may linger, but our very survival depends on it.
If you try and live without forgiving you will not survive. It is essential . Otherwise we will drown in bitterness. The deeper you allow yourself to go into the ocean of bitterness, the more you will feel the pressure and the stress. Eventually the pressure will become so intense that your relationships, joy, and health will be affected.
We think if we hold on to our hurt that we are only getting back to those who hurt us but in reality we are only hurting ourselves. If we want to live our lives to the fullest, we must release the bitterness.
We exhale our anger and bitteness by being honest about our feelings , both towards others and towards God. I can tell you I haven't ever been mad at God , I knew if things were screwed up that it was surely my doing, but I sure have been mad at people.We don"t always like to admit we have been offended or hurt, pride fuels our deception, yet inside we are seething. If our anger goes unchecked, it soons becomes malignant bitterness. If you could die from bitterness I would be long gone.
We don't always like forgiving others but that is okay, it is not a feeling. We forgive because we make a conscious decision to do so. I once heard that forgiveness is to set the prisoner free and that prisoner is you.
Bitterness blocks our blessings. If you open up to God by forgiving and praying for those who hurt you , then blessing can start to flow again. Healing starts to occur in your soul.
We can't give what we haven't received. We know we have received forgiveness, but we don't really understand the depths of God's mercy, which makes it harder to forgive others. If I can understand just a little but of how much Christ loves me , it's a whole lot easier to forgive others who have hurt me.
Until you experience the fullness of God's grace and forgiveness , you will never be able to forgive others. You will never be at peace and see the vision He has for your life. You will never experience the blessings He wants to pour out on you. Forgiveness is not a shallow experience, it means digging deep.
If you only had one month to live, wouldn't you want to move beyond the shallows into the cleansing ocean of forgiveness? I know I would. When I first started forgiving , I did it for selfish reasons , The Bible says that we must forgive others, if not , our Father in heaven will not forgive us, and I sure have done things I want to be forgiven for. I also don't think forgiveness is a once in awhile experience , I think it is a lifestyle.
Make a list of the people you need to forgive. Write down the offense, what they did to hurt you , next to their name. Also write down who you need to ask forgiveness from. Ask God to help you in the coming days to enable you to forgive others as well as be forgiven.
Tuesday February 9, 2010 Day 9
Today was Heart of the Matter.
Our investment in people is the only legacy that has the power to endure beyond our lifetime.
I thought about this statement all day. Its powerful and also so very true.
We were created for relationships and if we only had one month to live we would be more concerned about them than ever before.
If you have ever lost a loved one you kow how important it is to wrap up and unfisnished business than ever before . And that is if you had the privelege of getting notice . Some of us have to say goodbye when we least expect it. That's what got me to thinking, what if we treated our relationships like it may be the last day we would ever see that person?And it very well could be! We would have so much sweeter and more meaningful relationships. And the little stuff would not matter.
if you knew your time was short you would want to connect with the people in your life who you value most. You would want to give them the gift of time with you, to say all you wanted to say, and to allow them to know the real you.
My husband and I right now are in the process of losing a very dear friend who is terminally ill. I have done this a time or two before and it has never gotten any easier. This time we have no regrets. We have spent time with him, when he was well and when he was sick. We have loved him to the fullest, no holds barred. And are still cooking at times and taking the whole meal to them so that the family may spend time with him and instead of on mundane chores.
Most of us in our lives are so busy that maintaing relationships are challenging, even with our spouses and immediate families. We work long hours so that we can give our children things we did not have but miss spending time with them, which is what they value most. If we only had one month to live we would realize how much we need the people we love and how much they need us.Love can't be bought but it certainly comes with a price, it's called sacrifice. Love always means risking pain. Pain is a part of any significant relationship. I always say it's not IF you get hurt it's WHEN .
If we are going to love other people , to endure heartaches as well as celebrations, then we will need a greaterlove than our own.Most of us are totally oblivious of the great sacrifice God has made. He gave us His only son, who came and died for us , to forgive us of our past guilt, and to give us a future that includes heaven. As you think about what it means to sacrifice and love completely, you should first think about what God has sacrificed for you.
It's not that you don't love God enough , it's that you don't understand how much He loves you! If you could grasp just a little bit of how much God loves you , you would surrender all areas of your life to Him.
Make a list of people you would want to see and share your heart with if your time was limited and you only had one month to live. What steps would you take to reconnect with them and share your heart?
Our investment in people is the only legacy that has the power to endure beyond our lifetime.
I thought about this statement all day. Its powerful and also so very true.
We were created for relationships and if we only had one month to live we would be more concerned about them than ever before.
If you have ever lost a loved one you kow how important it is to wrap up and unfisnished business than ever before . And that is if you had the privelege of getting notice . Some of us have to say goodbye when we least expect it. That's what got me to thinking, what if we treated our relationships like it may be the last day we would ever see that person?And it very well could be! We would have so much sweeter and more meaningful relationships. And the little stuff would not matter.
if you knew your time was short you would want to connect with the people in your life who you value most. You would want to give them the gift of time with you, to say all you wanted to say, and to allow them to know the real you.
My husband and I right now are in the process of losing a very dear friend who is terminally ill. I have done this a time or two before and it has never gotten any easier. This time we have no regrets. We have spent time with him, when he was well and when he was sick. We have loved him to the fullest, no holds barred. And are still cooking at times and taking the whole meal to them so that the family may spend time with him and instead of on mundane chores.
Most of us in our lives are so busy that maintaing relationships are challenging, even with our spouses and immediate families. We work long hours so that we can give our children things we did not have but miss spending time with them, which is what they value most. If we only had one month to live we would realize how much we need the people we love and how much they need us.Love can't be bought but it certainly comes with a price, it's called sacrifice. Love always means risking pain. Pain is a part of any significant relationship. I always say it's not IF you get hurt it's WHEN .
If we are going to love other people , to endure heartaches as well as celebrations, then we will need a greaterlove than our own.Most of us are totally oblivious of the great sacrifice God has made. He gave us His only son, who came and died for us , to forgive us of our past guilt, and to give us a future that includes heaven. As you think about what it means to sacrifice and love completely, you should first think about what God has sacrificed for you.
It's not that you don't love God enough , it's that you don't understand how much He loves you! If you could grasp just a little bit of how much God loves you , you would surrender all areas of your life to Him.
Make a list of people you would want to see and share your heart with if your time was limited and you only had one month to live. What steps would you take to reconnect with them and share your heart?
Monday February 8, 2010 Day 8
Living life full throttle.
I can relate to todays chapter as I have always been a no holds barred kind of person.
Especially in my twenties. I was all about trying to stuff twenty eight hours into a twenty four hour day! I would go to work at my full time job, take kids to daycare , pack lunches , go to my second job that I did not have to have financially but because it was something else I could pursue, and then on to home late in the day and clean , cook supper, and get ready for the next day. Go to ball practice , soccer , and PTA functions. And in the midst of all this I also was always into some kind of volunteer work.
Even burning the candle at both ends I don't know how I did it. I take my grandsons now for the day and feel so wiped out when they go home I wonder how I did it with twice the kids.
I realize now that a lot of my version of full throttle when I was young was about control and what I wanted to do. I was defintely an adrenaline junkie and going ninety to nothing and being a EMT gave me outlets to "feed the need". But it was also about serving my needs and me being in control.
People at the end of their lives are forced to recognize that they are powerless and that they are not in control at all. The weaker they get the more they have to depend on others for their care.
Ultimately, they are forced to turn to God. But when they finally realize they aren't in control in the first place they discover real power and it enables them to live their last days to the very fullest.
We have the same limitless power available to us. All we have to do is to tap into God's power , the same power that raised Christ from the dead, and that is all the power you will ever need.
At times I have sure crashed going full throttle in life. It's not a matter of how we fail but when we fail. It's just part of life.Everyone who has succeeded has usually failed many times.
While Thomas Edison was trying to invent light he said "I have not failed, I have just found ten thousand ways that do not work". We need that same persistance to keep going. The greatest power we need in our lives is the power to begin again. So how do you start over after a a crash?
How do you start over and get a fresh chance after you have failed?
When life hits us hard and we crash and burn, it's great to know that God is a God of second chances, and He wants to give us the power to begin again.I am sure grateful that He is all about second chances or He would have thrown me out a long time ago.
Its not just the power for a fresh start,it's also the power to get back on track and go faster than ever before.
What's your greatest fears for trusting God completely with your life?
What is the basis of this fear? Journal about the way you would face this fear if you only had one month to live.
I can relate to todays chapter as I have always been a no holds barred kind of person.
Especially in my twenties. I was all about trying to stuff twenty eight hours into a twenty four hour day! I would go to work at my full time job, take kids to daycare , pack lunches , go to my second job that I did not have to have financially but because it was something else I could pursue, and then on to home late in the day and clean , cook supper, and get ready for the next day. Go to ball practice , soccer , and PTA functions. And in the midst of all this I also was always into some kind of volunteer work.
Even burning the candle at both ends I don't know how I did it. I take my grandsons now for the day and feel so wiped out when they go home I wonder how I did it with twice the kids.
I realize now that a lot of my version of full throttle when I was young was about control and what I wanted to do. I was defintely an adrenaline junkie and going ninety to nothing and being a EMT gave me outlets to "feed the need". But it was also about serving my needs and me being in control.
People at the end of their lives are forced to recognize that they are powerless and that they are not in control at all. The weaker they get the more they have to depend on others for their care.
Ultimately, they are forced to turn to God. But when they finally realize they aren't in control in the first place they discover real power and it enables them to live their last days to the very fullest.
We have the same limitless power available to us. All we have to do is to tap into God's power , the same power that raised Christ from the dead, and that is all the power you will ever need.
At times I have sure crashed going full throttle in life. It's not a matter of how we fail but when we fail. It's just part of life.Everyone who has succeeded has usually failed many times.
While Thomas Edison was trying to invent light he said "I have not failed, I have just found ten thousand ways that do not work". We need that same persistance to keep going. The greatest power we need in our lives is the power to begin again. So how do you start over after a a crash?
How do you start over and get a fresh chance after you have failed?
When life hits us hard and we crash and burn, it's great to know that God is a God of second chances, and He wants to give us the power to begin again.I am sure grateful that He is all about second chances or He would have thrown me out a long time ago.
Its not just the power for a fresh start,it's also the power to get back on track and go faster than ever before.
What's your greatest fears for trusting God completely with your life?
What is the basis of this fear? Journal about the way you would face this fear if you only had one month to live.
Sunday February 7, 2010 Day 7
Dreamsicle was today's chapter
I pondered on this awhile. Very little in my lifetime have I wondered what my dreams were.
In 1986 when I was pregnant with my first child , my older brothers mom took me out to eat for lunch and asked me "What are your dreams for your child?" I did not know . She went on to tell me "Everyone has dreams for their children , do you want her to be a sports star? An artist? To go to college?" I still did not have an answer, at all. I thought at the time it was because I had just a week earlier , three weeks before her birth , decided to leave Gladney and not give her up for adoption. I was wondering at the time , how am I going to even provide for this child let alone wonder about what my dreams are for her !
But twenty three years later I can say that I still have rarely thought about my dreams.
I always thought that it was because I was too busy raising children, too busy with my career , or just lack of imagaination. But now when I go back to that moment in time I think it is sad that I did not have dreams for my child! Or for myself over the years!
Now I know after todays lesson that dreams come from the heart. It says that it is incorporated into our beings and that He never wastes the resources that He has created.
I know now that the dreams I have had have been stifled from lack of confidence in them being able to come true. My failures at times have taken me out of the dream hunt.
I have had detours along the way in seeing my dreams come true. And i know now that it has been to teach me to rely on God. He is preparing me to fulfill my dreams by teaching me to trust Him.
God so enjoys healing my wounds and turning them into strengths so that my dreams can come true but so that they won't only come true but so they will be the dreams He has for me and not what I want for me .
A few of my dreams are to write a book so that it will help or encourage just one person.
If its just one, it will have been enough.
I have a dream to go to Hawaii. I have been to many states. I have seem the oceans of Florida, the plains of Kansas and the mountains of Colorado, but I have never seen "paradise".
I also have a dream to go back to school late this year and go into social work. It is something I can do with my physical health and also it will help others and it's where I am in my element and will bring me joy!
So today has been very helpful. It made me realize deep down in there that I do have dreams.
I just have to find out what they are and how to go about making them happen.
Pull out your" dream "box. What's in there? What are your frozen dreams?
What would you do attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?
I pondered on this awhile. Very little in my lifetime have I wondered what my dreams were.
In 1986 when I was pregnant with my first child , my older brothers mom took me out to eat for lunch and asked me "What are your dreams for your child?" I did not know . She went on to tell me "Everyone has dreams for their children , do you want her to be a sports star? An artist? To go to college?" I still did not have an answer, at all. I thought at the time it was because I had just a week earlier , three weeks before her birth , decided to leave Gladney and not give her up for adoption. I was wondering at the time , how am I going to even provide for this child let alone wonder about what my dreams are for her !
But twenty three years later I can say that I still have rarely thought about my dreams.
I always thought that it was because I was too busy raising children, too busy with my career , or just lack of imagaination. But now when I go back to that moment in time I think it is sad that I did not have dreams for my child! Or for myself over the years!
Now I know after todays lesson that dreams come from the heart. It says that it is incorporated into our beings and that He never wastes the resources that He has created.
I know now that the dreams I have had have been stifled from lack of confidence in them being able to come true. My failures at times have taken me out of the dream hunt.
I have had detours along the way in seeing my dreams come true. And i know now that it has been to teach me to rely on God. He is preparing me to fulfill my dreams by teaching me to trust Him.
God so enjoys healing my wounds and turning them into strengths so that my dreams can come true but so that they won't only come true but so they will be the dreams He has for me and not what I want for me .
A few of my dreams are to write a book so that it will help or encourage just one person.
If its just one, it will have been enough.
I have a dream to go to Hawaii. I have been to many states. I have seem the oceans of Florida, the plains of Kansas and the mountains of Colorado, but I have never seen "paradise".
I also have a dream to go back to school late this year and go into social work. It is something I can do with my physical health and also it will help others and it's where I am in my element and will bring me joy!
So today has been very helpful. It made me realize deep down in there that I do have dreams.
I just have to find out what they are and how to go about making them happen.
Pull out your" dream "box. What's in there? What are your frozen dreams?
What would you do attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Saturday February 6,2010 Day 6
Risking greatness was todays challenge .
I think this took a lot of thought on my part.
Some people I think are born knowing what their passion is and what they want to grow up and become , for me it was more difficult than that .
I remember being fourteen years old and asking God what i could be of use at? I did a lot of things .
I sang in the chior, I played basketball, rode horses relentlessly, played the clarinet, and played soccer . I was mediocore at most excpet soccer which I played for nine years, I was good at it, but knew I would not become a world renouned soccer player. So i kept asking God , what am I good at? What can I do for you and maybe for a career?
I kept hearing this steady voice saying"take care of my children , take care of my children"
I was fourteen and could not take care of myself let alone anyone else, and I sure didn't want any kids , not then , not ever! (little did I know he would bless me with not one but four)
Years later we took in underpriveleged teens , I had always felt like I was a teen no one wanted, never quite fit in, so we took in teenagers from rough backgrounds who had emotional problems along with just being teenagers. This was good as it taught my children it wasn't all about them and to this day would share their plate of food with you without blinking and eye as this was the way they were raised, they don't know any different than to invite you in and share their own blankets with you.
I also had the privilege of working with an international organization for seven years and with kids from twenty two different countries. I was responsible for them before they hit Amercian soil and until the left the airport to go back to their countries ten months later.
So i have had many opportunites as far as life experiences and taking risks in uncertain situations.
I have also been with Hospice for many years and been honored to be with probably over fifty different people who were facing the end of their life. They tell you their hopes and their dreams. They tell you things they cannot tell their own families.
Of all my risk taking moments I have had my hospice years have helped me really realize the tremendous effect of the idea of literally one month to live , as I know see it through my patients eyes, where before I could not.
Now I am actually doing my best to use my imagination and walk in their shoes.
But I also know that God still has huge risks in store for me .And their is some fears there.
One is the writing of a book. It took me two years to come up with a title , now that I have it the real work begins.
Another is going back to school as soon as the last one leaves the nest this fall. To say I don't have some butterflies would be putting it lightly.
But we are all called to do great things. And if we take the path of least resistance we will never reach all He has called us to be !
I also know He has risks for me to take I do not know about , ones that require trust in Him on my part. And I am ready for the challenge !I know that if I only had one month to live , I would not care about risks or failure, that I would greet it head on with no hesitation and that 's what I plan on doing from this day forward!
Write down one risk that you belive God is calling you to take in your life.
Describe your fears regarding this risk.
Describe what the worst thing would happen if you took it and failed.
Pray that God will help you face your fears so that you can take the risks in order to be all he has called you to be!
I think this took a lot of thought on my part.
Some people I think are born knowing what their passion is and what they want to grow up and become , for me it was more difficult than that .
I remember being fourteen years old and asking God what i could be of use at? I did a lot of things .
I sang in the chior, I played basketball, rode horses relentlessly, played the clarinet, and played soccer . I was mediocore at most excpet soccer which I played for nine years, I was good at it, but knew I would not become a world renouned soccer player. So i kept asking God , what am I good at? What can I do for you and maybe for a career?
I kept hearing this steady voice saying"take care of my children , take care of my children"
I was fourteen and could not take care of myself let alone anyone else, and I sure didn't want any kids , not then , not ever! (little did I know he would bless me with not one but four)
Years later we took in underpriveleged teens , I had always felt like I was a teen no one wanted, never quite fit in, so we took in teenagers from rough backgrounds who had emotional problems along with just being teenagers. This was good as it taught my children it wasn't all about them and to this day would share their plate of food with you without blinking and eye as this was the way they were raised, they don't know any different than to invite you in and share their own blankets with you.
I also had the privilege of working with an international organization for seven years and with kids from twenty two different countries. I was responsible for them before they hit Amercian soil and until the left the airport to go back to their countries ten months later.
So i have had many opportunites as far as life experiences and taking risks in uncertain situations.
I have also been with Hospice for many years and been honored to be with probably over fifty different people who were facing the end of their life. They tell you their hopes and their dreams. They tell you things they cannot tell their own families.
Of all my risk taking moments I have had my hospice years have helped me really realize the tremendous effect of the idea of literally one month to live , as I know see it through my patients eyes, where before I could not.
Now I am actually doing my best to use my imagination and walk in their shoes.
But I also know that God still has huge risks in store for me .And their is some fears there.
One is the writing of a book. It took me two years to come up with a title , now that I have it the real work begins.
Another is going back to school as soon as the last one leaves the nest this fall. To say I don't have some butterflies would be putting it lightly.
But we are all called to do great things. And if we take the path of least resistance we will never reach all He has called us to be !
I also know He has risks for me to take I do not know about , ones that require trust in Him on my part. And I am ready for the challenge !I know that if I only had one month to live , I would not care about risks or failure, that I would greet it head on with no hesitation and that 's what I plan on doing from this day forward!
Write down one risk that you belive God is calling you to take in your life.
Describe your fears regarding this risk.
Describe what the worst thing would happen if you took it and failed.
Pray that God will help you face your fears so that you can take the risks in order to be all he has called you to be!
Friday February 5, 2010 Day 5
Physical Health ,this is a chapter that speaks volumes and at a high pitch to me !
I am in pretty good health, better than I have been in ten years! I have been healed of cancer twice , brought back by cardiac arrest not once but twice from my brother in law doing CPR on me , and still at times I fail to take the time to take care of myself!
I know how blessed I am to be here!
I am not a junk food eater . I was at my heaviest two years ago but it was due to medicine and when they changed it after my cardiac arrest I dropped seventy pounds in six months!
I've pretty much always been a healthy eater and rarely hit the drive thru for that get it quick ahh feeling. But i do tend to get busy and skip meals. I am weight wise littler than I was in Jr High but I still don't take the time to exercise like I know I should.
I take care of my children and grandchildren and would never let them miss a meal but at times realize its nightfall and all I have had is a granola bar!
I will try and do my best to do better in this area. To make sure I eat and to exericise in some way at lesat three times a week. The good Lord has spared me death and I need to take care of His temple!
How would you rate your health in these areas, spiritual? Physical ?Emotional? Relational?
What's the greatest challenges in these areas?
What can you do to work through this challenge?
I am in pretty good health, better than I have been in ten years! I have been healed of cancer twice , brought back by cardiac arrest not once but twice from my brother in law doing CPR on me , and still at times I fail to take the time to take care of myself!
I know how blessed I am to be here!
I am not a junk food eater . I was at my heaviest two years ago but it was due to medicine and when they changed it after my cardiac arrest I dropped seventy pounds in six months!
I've pretty much always been a healthy eater and rarely hit the drive thru for that get it quick ahh feeling. But i do tend to get busy and skip meals. I am weight wise littler than I was in Jr High but I still don't take the time to exercise like I know I should.
I take care of my children and grandchildren and would never let them miss a meal but at times realize its nightfall and all I have had is a granola bar!
I will try and do my best to do better in this area. To make sure I eat and to exericise in some way at lesat three times a week. The good Lord has spared me death and I need to take care of His temple!
How would you rate your health in these areas, spiritual? Physical ?Emotional? Relational?
What's the greatest challenges in these areas?
What can you do to work through this challenge?
Thursday February 4, 2010 Day 4
The part of todays lesson that stood out to me the most today was perennial pruning, hmm.
I can relate to this as I am an avid gardener, I love my flowers and have had vegetable gardens also , I was raised with five acres set aside JUST for farming and we grew everything that we ate and all kids were expected to help in whatever way was appropriate to their age group.
I remember my first job was to follow behind my brother and fill in the holes as he planted the potatoes. It wasn't a huge job but as a little person it was to me and was just as important as the big jobs as if the potatoes arent covered with dirt in order to root they won't grow.
I have lots of flowers and am partial to butterfly gardens . I can usually tell you what plant it is and why it does what and what kind of weather it does best and how big it will get.
But just like farming and gardening , we have to be cut and pruned to be our best selves .
To get the best product that God can make us .But rarely do we like the pruning process that has to happen so that we can bear more quality fruit. I know I dont always enjoy the pruning part. In fact sometimes I go in kicking and screaming! It hurts at times to be pruned !
Kerry says in this chapter that if you are feeling like you aren't blessed at this stage then you are probably in the pruning process. This is good news as it is always painful but productive. He wants to get just the "right " cuts to be able to be able to produce the most and best fruit possible. This is who he has called us to be .
It talks about him being the power source and us be the branch and stay connected to the vine.
Its less stressful and all around more productive.
Its when we think that we are the ones in control that we actually lose our power .
Just like a garden has to be pruned and watered so do we. We are not supposed to rely on willpower but on Gods power ,. Willpower only lasts about two weeks and His power is forever!
He has definitely pruned me many a time, I think it is a ongoing process, and a neccesary for us to continue to grow over our whole lifetime. He has been pruning and cutting our family and we are excited about the fruits that we are still yet to bear!
What are some ways you have seen God prune your life?
How have you handled it? What has been the result? What are you still waiting to see results on?
I can relate to this as I am an avid gardener, I love my flowers and have had vegetable gardens also , I was raised with five acres set aside JUST for farming and we grew everything that we ate and all kids were expected to help in whatever way was appropriate to their age group.
I remember my first job was to follow behind my brother and fill in the holes as he planted the potatoes. It wasn't a huge job but as a little person it was to me and was just as important as the big jobs as if the potatoes arent covered with dirt in order to root they won't grow.
I have lots of flowers and am partial to butterfly gardens . I can usually tell you what plant it is and why it does what and what kind of weather it does best and how big it will get.
But just like farming and gardening , we have to be cut and pruned to be our best selves .
To get the best product that God can make us .But rarely do we like the pruning process that has to happen so that we can bear more quality fruit. I know I dont always enjoy the pruning part. In fact sometimes I go in kicking and screaming! It hurts at times to be pruned !
Kerry says in this chapter that if you are feeling like you aren't blessed at this stage then you are probably in the pruning process. This is good news as it is always painful but productive. He wants to get just the "right " cuts to be able to be able to produce the most and best fruit possible. This is who he has called us to be .
It talks about him being the power source and us be the branch and stay connected to the vine.
Its less stressful and all around more productive.
Its when we think that we are the ones in control that we actually lose our power .
Just like a garden has to be pruned and watered so do we. We are not supposed to rely on willpower but on Gods power ,. Willpower only lasts about two weeks and His power is forever!
He has definitely pruned me many a time, I think it is a ongoing process, and a neccesary for us to continue to grow over our whole lifetime. He has been pruning and cutting our family and we are excited about the fruits that we are still yet to bear!
What are some ways you have seen God prune your life?
How have you handled it? What has been the result? What are you still waiting to see results on?
Wednesday February 3,2010 Day 3
Time squared, usually I am a good user of time , I plan my days , I make to do lists and cross my things off when done. I plan from my grocery trips to vacations. What we will see and what day and what days we will just chill. I plan appointments according to schedules, outings and chores.
I try and make sure the dishes are done while making supper, I make lists and re do my lists. I drive everyone where they need to go and make sure the car gets washed once a week.
I also try and make sure I spend time with those that I love. I plan or am in on the planning of date night once a week when possible and make sure we get out the door and to church on time.
I'm not big on wasting time , and sometimes a scheduler to a fault. But i do try and spend the time that I do with my loved ones and with things they enjoy, and being surrounded by my family brings me the most joy!
I could be better at my time management by spending the time with instead of always worrying about all the details,but pretty much I am a good manager of time ! I could also stop and smell the flowers a little bit ! I would like to leave the legacy that I spent time with those I loved the most!
What was the biggest time waster in your life this past week?
I try and make sure the dishes are done while making supper, I make lists and re do my lists. I drive everyone where they need to go and make sure the car gets washed once a week.
I also try and make sure I spend time with those that I love. I plan or am in on the planning of date night once a week when possible and make sure we get out the door and to church on time.
I'm not big on wasting time , and sometimes a scheduler to a fault. But i do try and spend the time that I do with my loved ones and with things they enjoy, and being surrounded by my family brings me the most joy!
I could be better at my time management by spending the time with instead of always worrying about all the details,but pretty much I am a good manager of time ! I could also stop and smell the flowers a little bit ! I would like to leave the legacy that I spent time with those I loved the most!
What was the biggest time waster in your life this past week?
Tuesday February 2,2010 Day 2
Today was "make it count moments"I am a natural risk taker where my husband is not, but as I have gotten older I realize I am taking less risks, and certainly less in the area of spirituality.I take risks, I tell people about Jesus , I trust Him with my everything , or say I do , as when it comes to really big ventures , i worry a lot about the outcome , when if I "knew"Him like I "know"Him I would never ever have a care in the world, I would just let it go and let Him handle it! After all , worrying doesnt change a thing, it's never paid a bill, or changed a circumstance that I know of.
I am a chaplain for Texas Dept Criminal Justice , so I do "work "for God but I want to do HUGE things for him in my every day life! I don't know what it is , or what it will be, but I am listening , truly listening , and im giving up any kind of worry that there is to be had. I can't truly serve Him and keep my own lil bit to worry about or worry about it when it doesn't turn out like it should or in the timing that I think it should be .
Discussion question was what is your symbol or metaphor to describe what your life would look like if you were fully engaged?
For me its the mountains of Pike Peak that used to be out my kitchen window . If I was fully engaged , I would be like the mountains, strong, powerful , and unmoving. There would be nothing that could stop me or tear me down.
So what picture or symbol would your life look like if you were fully enaged?
I am a chaplain for Texas Dept Criminal Justice , so I do "work "for God but I want to do HUGE things for him in my every day life! I don't know what it is , or what it will be, but I am listening , truly listening , and im giving up any kind of worry that there is to be had. I can't truly serve Him and keep my own lil bit to worry about or worry about it when it doesn't turn out like it should or in the timing that I think it should be .
Discussion question was what is your symbol or metaphor to describe what your life would look like if you were fully engaged?
For me its the mountains of Pike Peak that used to be out my kitchen window . If I was fully engaged , I would be like the mountains, strong, powerful , and unmoving. There would be nothing that could stop me or tear me down.
So what picture or symbol would your life look like if you were fully enaged?
Monday February 1, 2010 Day One
Yesterday Robert and I went to the "One Month to Live " kickoff and read day one in our book.
It was all about how you spend your dash, the dash between your birth and death. I have heard the poem, known for years as a medic life is short,I reminded my kids daily "Your never promised another sunrise ", taught them to say "I Love you" when they leave the house , no matter who is around , but how am I spending this dash right here right now in my life?
I've been way too busy, overbooked myself way too much, and spend very little "me " time.
My idea of spending time on myself is to get a pedicure every three months! I am a "caretaker" that's just what I DO !!But I realize I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off , making all the appointments , pampering everyone else, but very little do I take care of myself!
I have realized that if I take care of myself , I will be much better and more efficient in every area of my life! I DO need to take care of myself, get more rest and let that red headed temper simmer sometimes instead of sizzle!! (easier said than done) I also came to realize that in all the "stuff " I am doing that I am taking care of but not actually spending TIME with the people that I love. If i had 30 days to live I would not want them to say , "well she took care of the errands " or "she got us to all our appointments" I would want them to remember the sparkle in my eyes, the love that I show others , and how deeply and fiercely I love them!
In the discussion questions it said to choose what five things you would change if you had one month to live, then we picked one to do this week. Mine is for an hour before bedtime that I will slow down, not run and and run until bedtime or until I can't take it anymore .To actually wind down to prepare myself for my nightime and to be able to properly rejuvenate myself for the following day so that I can wake up refreshed and renewed, instead of feeling like bed was a temporary pit stop!
It was all about how you spend your dash, the dash between your birth and death. I have heard the poem, known for years as a medic life is short,I reminded my kids daily "Your never promised another sunrise ", taught them to say "I Love you" when they leave the house , no matter who is around , but how am I spending this dash right here right now in my life?
I've been way too busy, overbooked myself way too much, and spend very little "me " time.
My idea of spending time on myself is to get a pedicure every three months! I am a "caretaker" that's just what I DO !!But I realize I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off , making all the appointments , pampering everyone else, but very little do I take care of myself!
I have realized that if I take care of myself , I will be much better and more efficient in every area of my life! I DO need to take care of myself, get more rest and let that red headed temper simmer sometimes instead of sizzle!! (easier said than done) I also came to realize that in all the "stuff " I am doing that I am taking care of but not actually spending TIME with the people that I love. If i had 30 days to live I would not want them to say , "well she took care of the errands " or "she got us to all our appointments" I would want them to remember the sparkle in my eyes, the love that I show others , and how deeply and fiercely I love them!
In the discussion questions it said to choose what five things you would change if you had one month to live, then we picked one to do this week. Mine is for an hour before bedtime that I will slow down, not run and and run until bedtime or until I can't take it anymore .To actually wind down to prepare myself for my nightime and to be able to properly rejuvenate myself for the following day so that I can wake up refreshed and renewed, instead of feeling like bed was a temporary pit stop!
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