Hi my name is Laura Jones and I am pleased to be here with you for such a time as this
I was asked at the first of this year to be a part of this awesome opportunity called Relay for Life, and not only is it something very near and dear to me, but with it being my hometown it makes it even sweeter! I am very humbled and honored to be here and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this opportunity to share with you. I will start out by telling you a little bit about myself, I will be 41 yrs old Thursday , I am married I have four children , with two boys and two girls, with the last one going to college in the fall. I am originally from Graham but have lived in East Texas for 17 years now. I am a chaplain for Texas Dept Criminal Justice. I want not only to be able to share my story but also to be able give others hope, whether you have walked in my shoes, or whether you have had a family member who has been through this journey called cancer.
My story starts in Sept of 2004, I all of the sudden had a persistent cough I could not get rid of, the more I had to cough, the more needed to cough. I did not have any insurance so I ended up spending 2 months and about $200 trying to get rid of a cough, I tried everything. Then one night as I was slowly walking around the track across the street from my school, I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest, and I felt like I was being squeezed, so for this I would go to the doctor and have it checked out . The very next day Nov 4th I went into the clinic to see my Dr and he took X rays, being an EMT /Nurse and working with him for many yrs he told me right away that he saw a mass on my right lung and personally called the Pulmonologist, the Lung Dr, himself from his personal phone, And I knew then that it must be something he was very worried about, something serious. I did all the diff tests and blood work they wanted and three wks later I was sitting in Tyler face to face with the Pulmonologist, not long after introductions, he was sitting back in his chair with his feet up, with his surgery cap on, looking thru my paperwork, He knew I was medical background and he looks me straight in the eye and says "Do you want the good version of it or the not so good version?", I said "Do NOT sugarcoats and of it, this is my LIFE we are talking about!" So he slowly starts to tell me about the possibility of taking out the middle lobe of my right lung, how it is done, how its much like open heart surgery, how I would be in the hospital 10 days, and it would be a year recovery I said "what is the good news?" he says "We are going to give you very good drugs while you are there " I said ," So you do all this , what are my chances ?" and he got very quiet and was looking at the floor He said " We can do all of this we have discussed and you could have many complications, but if that’s what what you want to do we can do it on Jan 28th , I do not think your chances are great " I asked him again, "What are my chances, give it to me straight " He said "At the rate your tumor is growing it doesn’t look good at all, percentage wise I would say 1-2 % " I said "Cool, my God only needs 1% chance to move " I got up, shook his hand and said " I will see you on the 28th!"
I was never scared, not for a minute, my family was beside themselves, my preacher was really worried, but I had such peace, it is hard to explain. I did not know if I would win this battle, but I did know I would be healed here or there, either way, I would win! I felt like God had already given me my miracle, all I had to do was go through and endure my storms, and come out the other side! I never once stayed up at night worrying; I gave God everything I had, my time, my resources and my energy, no matter how little it seemed, and I felt that my willingness and surrender would activate Gods intervention and blessings in my life! And it did!
You see when you ignite just one possibility that things will be okay, you activate faith, which turns into hope! I did not deny there was a problem; I just saw it from a new perspective, which was from Gods eyes!
It was a trying time that month of Jan 05, 2 wks before my surgery , I spent 12 hrs days in McKinney enduring my sisters murder trial , the wk between the trial and my surgery, we did what the doctor said, and got our affairs in order and spent quality time as a family.
The day of surgery and throughout this whole process I had so many people praying for me, so much support.
When I was in recovery the Dr Came in with tears in his eyes and said “I think we got it all”
I couldn’t get out of bed for 10 days and was in the hospital for 30 days due to complications. It was the hardest thing I have ever been thru, and it was an intense year recovery.
There are two funny stories that happened while I was in the hospital, six days in because my blood pressure had dropped out, they had pain medicines and narcotics, and I was left do endure it with no meds, I was in a lot of pain but also because they did not wean me, I into severe withdrawals and was paranoid. I would draw things, wrote down a lot of words, and thought people were out to get all my things when they would come into the room, it was really bad, I finally felt like what a crack addict may feel like! What was worse is I knew I was doing it and everything that was going on but could not stop it! One day when the Dr came in, when he was leaving I went to shake his hand and said "you don’t care about the care bears do you!" He was shocked! He looked at my husband and said "she’s Progressing from the neck down, but I am sure worried about her from the neck up!" And then at 14 days I was having a lot of complications and had severe pneumonia and so the Dr came in and got close to my face and said “If you don’t get up outta the bed and walk further and further each day you might not leave this hospital " So I walked more and the next day I asked if I could walk outside the hospital and they said "yes just let us know where and when you are going " So i did, well I ended up walking too far and a lot of things began to look the same , it had started to rain so I walked up in a bus shelter, it rained for over an hr and it was very cold, and I was barefoot, a little while longer a security guard in his security truck came along and said "Are you Laura Jones?" I said "YES! I sure am!" And he said “Honey I have been looking for you!" and he took me back to the hospital!
When I got home from the hospital it was the last day of Feb and very cold, the first thing i did was take my walker and go across to the middle school and sit on a big boulder and just be in nature and listen . To just soak it in. I was gone so long my husband came to find me as I was supposed to be on bed rest, but I just wanted to savor the moment. The sunshine was breathtaking, even though it was 50 degrees outside, the grass seemed greener than before, and the birds seemed like they were singing just for me! I sat there almost 2 hours and I will never look through the same eyes again!
Have I had an easy time, no, in 07 while going out to give my mother in law in Ca her last wishes, which was a last moms day with all her kids and grandkids, 8 hours before she passed, I went into cardiac arrest and was brought back not once but twice by CPR by my husband and brother in law, I am not even medically supposed to be here, but I keep defying the odds as I know God has a plan and a purpose for me! He is not finished with me yet!
Then in March 09 my lung cancer came back in my left lung, found on a routine scan, I went to the doctor just a day before I came here and was told I am still in remission. And I will continue to focus on the positive
Since 05 I have seen my last two children graduate and another grandson born. I would not have had the joy of experiencing these things if I had not had the courage to fight back!
I will keep putting one foot in front of the other and sharing my story of hope as long as I am able to. If you look thru the eyes of faith, those small blessings you have won’t be overlooked. I am not in denial but I am not willing to give up Faith and hope is not ignoring the present reality, it is acknowledging that with God, all things are possible.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Sunday February 21,2010 Day 21
Integrity
If you only had one month to live you would want to review your character, your integrity. How have I acted? Have I been true to myself and others? You would want to learn from past mistakes,fix what you could ,and make peace with others. You would want your life to be whole and not settle for less than what you were made to be.
Integrity means wholeness ,not fractured. When you lack integrity you act one way at church and another way atyour job or school. A true sign of strength and character is to be the same no matter who we are with or where we are. Proverbs 28:6 says " Better to be a poor person who has integrity than to be rich and double dealing.
We can't put a price tag on integrity. When you have integrity it fills you with peace, passion, and a zest for life! It also brings extreme calmness in a crazy world!
Keeping up an image to impress people takes tremendous effort and endless amounts of energy. When what you see is what you get, that is integrity. Integrity is who you are when no one else is looking.
I have never been one to keep up to someone elses standards. But many people struggle with status in this world.
People lose integrity by lying. I have never tried much to lie as I didnt think I would be good at it. When you lie you have to rememeber who you told what and then make up another lie to cover the first one and on and on .I can't remember what I ate for breakfast let alone worrying about blowing my cover!
I know growing up my dad used to always say "Laura, dont you care what other people think?" I was a rebellious child and he was "someone" in town and I just did not care what people thought. Even when I was struggling , I wanted people to accept me for who I was.
Later in life when I truly thought I was living a life of integrity ,I know realize I wasn't as I would go out into the world and pretend things were perfect in church and our place of business while all the while I was living a terribly abused homelife. That is not integrity.
The real reason we lie is because we don't love enough. Lyingis an easy route for our own selfish convience. It's taking the easy road.If you risk loving , then you will tell the truth .The more you love , the less you lie. The more you love, the more you have the courage to tell the truth.
The great news is because the gift of the cross we have recieved a gift of a lifetime! We could never earn it or be good enough to get it on our own ! God loves us just because of who we are and not because of anything we have done. He can restore us and make our lives whole no matter how many times we have messed up!
Take a piece of paper and draw a large circle in the center of it, divide it into a pie with eight pieces, then label it with each section of your life, job, kids, hobbies, marriage , etc. Are you living out your values in each of these areas?
Some of these one month to live posts have exerpts from te book so what I write that applies to my own life will make sense, those that know me & how I write it is obvious what is mine and what is Exerpts, but I needed to add this , this applies to all my one month to live writings
If you only had one month to live you would want to review your character, your integrity. How have I acted? Have I been true to myself and others? You would want to learn from past mistakes,fix what you could ,and make peace with others. You would want your life to be whole and not settle for less than what you were made to be.
Integrity means wholeness ,not fractured. When you lack integrity you act one way at church and another way atyour job or school. A true sign of strength and character is to be the same no matter who we are with or where we are. Proverbs 28:6 says " Better to be a poor person who has integrity than to be rich and double dealing.
We can't put a price tag on integrity. When you have integrity it fills you with peace, passion, and a zest for life! It also brings extreme calmness in a crazy world!
Keeping up an image to impress people takes tremendous effort and endless amounts of energy. When what you see is what you get, that is integrity. Integrity is who you are when no one else is looking.
I have never been one to keep up to someone elses standards. But many people struggle with status in this world.
People lose integrity by lying. I have never tried much to lie as I didnt think I would be good at it. When you lie you have to rememeber who you told what and then make up another lie to cover the first one and on and on .I can't remember what I ate for breakfast let alone worrying about blowing my cover!
I know growing up my dad used to always say "Laura, dont you care what other people think?" I was a rebellious child and he was "someone" in town and I just did not care what people thought. Even when I was struggling , I wanted people to accept me for who I was.
Later in life when I truly thought I was living a life of integrity ,I know realize I wasn't as I would go out into the world and pretend things were perfect in church and our place of business while all the while I was living a terribly abused homelife. That is not integrity.
The real reason we lie is because we don't love enough. Lyingis an easy route for our own selfish convience. It's taking the easy road.If you risk loving , then you will tell the truth .The more you love , the less you lie. The more you love, the more you have the courage to tell the truth.
The great news is because the gift of the cross we have recieved a gift of a lifetime! We could never earn it or be good enough to get it on our own ! God loves us just because of who we are and not because of anything we have done. He can restore us and make our lives whole no matter how many times we have messed up!
Take a piece of paper and draw a large circle in the center of it, divide it into a pie with eight pieces, then label it with each section of your life, job, kids, hobbies, marriage , etc. Are you living out your values in each of these areas?
Some of these one month to live posts have exerpts from te book so what I write that applies to my own life will make sense, those that know me & how I write it is obvious what is mine and what is Exerpts, but I needed to add this , this applies to all my one month to live writings
Saturday February 20,2010 Day 20
Building a Foundation that Lasts
This chapter speaks to my heart in extra loud volumes!
I feel like I have had more changes and "earthquakes" in my life than most people would have if they lived lifetimes , but I have weathered through lifes storms and came out on the other side! I have lived through many losses. I have been robbed at gunpoint and left for dead, been homeless for a year with two children, and been in a abusive relationship for many years. But I have come out of it a stronger, more viable woman!
I think the only reason I have been sane at the end of these changes is because I know, who i know, whose child that I am !
I was drug to church when little whether you were sick , tired, had sports, it did not matter, you were to be at church, I often have told the kids, I was taught if you went out and partied till 3am you were still expected to get up at 9 am and go to church , it was just expected, no questions asked, but it gave me a sense of who I was and whom I belonged to .
I was made fun of in school for my way out of control hair and a speech impediment from a cleft palate, kids are cruel, but it somehow never affected my self confidence, as I knew at the end of the day , my God loved me unconditionally.
I think in this anything goes world , where are children are so boldly against the things of God, that , that kind of foundation is missing terribly.
An unshakable foundation is is the key to building a meaningful life,a lasting marriage, strong friendships, and successful businesses. Matthew 27:24-25 even tells about he man who builds his foundation on a rock.
I know at times in my life I have built my foundation on men, money,cars, and many things that would not last. And in the end , I have turned right back to my Saviour, the only thing that truly lasts!
You can't always predict when storms will come, but you can build your foundation on solid ground, that when the storms do come, and they will, your center will be strong enough to hold things together.
I know in 2000 our house burned, and we had lost everything .We had made more money in that year than ever before. Were we living "bad", no, but I certainly that year was not putting God first and foremost in my life. The fire happened twelve days after Christmas, and four months after adding on a room so that the oldest could have her own room. Losing a house and all your possesions is a very hurtful thing to go through. But i KNEW we would be okay. A friend of mine who was a fireman gave me a motel room for the night, and the first thingI did was get down on my knees at the end of the bed and thank God for my life and that we were all okay. My husband at the time was not saved and he was literally distraught. He did not have that solid foundation to pull from . I knew that I knew we would be okay. We would put one foot in front of the other and rebuild our lives.Unfortuantely for him, the loss was so huge, and our marriage of eighteeen years was not built on that solid foundation and ended in divorce the next year.
Did God cause that fire, I don't think so , but I do think He does sometimes knock us to our knees to show us whats more imporatant in life!
I describe it like this .I have always said no matter where my kids are what they are going through , I want my kids to always have God as their point of reference , to go to , and to seek advice, and weather any storm they may face! If you are committed to loving God and seeking a relationship with Him, he will hold you in His arms and never let you go!
What does you life revolove around right now? Who or what is at the center of your lifes wheel?
Describe the last time you have experienced the tremors of an earthquake in your life~your most recent trial.In what ways did it turn your life upside down? How are you different now and would you describe your relationship with God as stronger or weaker in the aftermath ?
This chapter speaks to my heart in extra loud volumes!
I feel like I have had more changes and "earthquakes" in my life than most people would have if they lived lifetimes , but I have weathered through lifes storms and came out on the other side! I have lived through many losses. I have been robbed at gunpoint and left for dead, been homeless for a year with two children, and been in a abusive relationship for many years. But I have come out of it a stronger, more viable woman!
I think the only reason I have been sane at the end of these changes is because I know, who i know, whose child that I am !
I was drug to church when little whether you were sick , tired, had sports, it did not matter, you were to be at church, I often have told the kids, I was taught if you went out and partied till 3am you were still expected to get up at 9 am and go to church , it was just expected, no questions asked, but it gave me a sense of who I was and whom I belonged to .
I was made fun of in school for my way out of control hair and a speech impediment from a cleft palate, kids are cruel, but it somehow never affected my self confidence, as I knew at the end of the day , my God loved me unconditionally.
I think in this anything goes world , where are children are so boldly against the things of God, that , that kind of foundation is missing terribly.
An unshakable foundation is is the key to building a meaningful life,a lasting marriage, strong friendships, and successful businesses. Matthew 27:24-25 even tells about he man who builds his foundation on a rock.
I know at times in my life I have built my foundation on men, money,cars, and many things that would not last. And in the end , I have turned right back to my Saviour, the only thing that truly lasts!
You can't always predict when storms will come, but you can build your foundation on solid ground, that when the storms do come, and they will, your center will be strong enough to hold things together.
I know in 2000 our house burned, and we had lost everything .We had made more money in that year than ever before. Were we living "bad", no, but I certainly that year was not putting God first and foremost in my life. The fire happened twelve days after Christmas, and four months after adding on a room so that the oldest could have her own room. Losing a house and all your possesions is a very hurtful thing to go through. But i KNEW we would be okay. A friend of mine who was a fireman gave me a motel room for the night, and the first thingI did was get down on my knees at the end of the bed and thank God for my life and that we were all okay. My husband at the time was not saved and he was literally distraught. He did not have that solid foundation to pull from . I knew that I knew we would be okay. We would put one foot in front of the other and rebuild our lives.Unfortuantely for him, the loss was so huge, and our marriage of eighteeen years was not built on that solid foundation and ended in divorce the next year.
Did God cause that fire, I don't think so , but I do think He does sometimes knock us to our knees to show us whats more imporatant in life!
I describe it like this .I have always said no matter where my kids are what they are going through , I want my kids to always have God as their point of reference , to go to , and to seek advice, and weather any storm they may face! If you are committed to loving God and seeking a relationship with Him, he will hold you in His arms and never let you go!
What does you life revolove around right now? Who or what is at the center of your lifes wheel?
Describe the last time you have experienced the tremors of an earthquake in your life~your most recent trial.In what ways did it turn your life upside down? How are you different now and would you describe your relationship with God as stronger or weaker in the aftermath ?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday February 19, 2010 Day 19
Changing from the Inside out
People who are at the end of their lives often make radical life changes. They make amends, quit cussing, spend time with God and alone , and spend time with those they love.
I have noticed many times when being with my patients who are nearing the end that get this "distance " if you will, between them and their loved ones and the world itself. I think it is because they are beginning to accept their fate and are also in the middle of big changes from the inside out. They rediscover simple pleasures that we often take for granted such as a sunny day , a good nap, and a pleasant day.
I know when I got home from my lung cancer surgery in 2005 the very first thing I did was take my walker and go across to the school grounds and sit on a big boulder and just be in nature and listen. To just soak it in. It was a cold February day but I never noticed . I was gone so long my husband went to find me as I was supposed to be on bedrest. But I just wanted to savor the moment. The sunshine was breathtaking even though it was fifty degrees. The grass seemed much greener than before and the birds singing getting ready for spring was like angels singing to me . I sat there almost two hours and I will never see things through the same eyes again.
If you had one month to live you would most likely slow down and take a different approach to each and every day you had left.
In this busy busy world with technology at our fingertips we have forgotten how to relax. We have difficulty spending time alone. We don't know how to connect with ourselves or those we love the most.
We are always moving up the ladder to the next big promotion , bigger car or bigger house trying to satisfy ourselves. And the more we make the more we spend. So we never really get "caught up". And the empty hole is never filled . I have preached so many times on the God shaped hole. You can fill with everything in life you want to but only He can fill that space he was meant to be in.
The desires we have aren't always bad it is what motivates them that is troubling.
The secret to faith filled maturity is to be changed from the inside out , a metamorphosis of the soul. Like a butterfly , a caterpillar forms from a chrysalis and begins the process of tunring into something beautiful with wings. It doesn't wait for something to change , it changes from the inside out , all that it is created to be.
Too often we wait on something external to change us . But all the reasons in the world we can think of for not changing only delays the inevitable if we're serious about having healthy , dynamic souls.
I have heard the saying since I was a rebellious teen, that "wherever you go , there you are" and for years didn't have a clue what it meant. You can run but you can't hide. It's not about what's on the outside , it's what's in the inside .
I have also done a lot of volunteer work. i went to Pascagoula Mississippi after Hurrican Katrina , I was volunteer of the year at my son's school when he was in kindergarten, and volunteered to be there with oe of my very best friends in ninety nine when she took her last breath as her children could not bear it. I have found that in these times where I am offering up myself for service , for something or someone who can't give anything in return is when I can connect fully and enage with my soul , and it's also when I think about bringing about more change ,from the inside out.
Plan this week to spend one hour alone and uninteruppted.Go where you will not be disturbed . Take nothing to do while you are there and just ponder on how you can go about making changes , even small ones , to help you start to change from the inside out.out
People who are at the end of their lives often make radical life changes. They make amends, quit cussing, spend time with God and alone , and spend time with those they love.
I have noticed many times when being with my patients who are nearing the end that get this "distance " if you will, between them and their loved ones and the world itself. I think it is because they are beginning to accept their fate and are also in the middle of big changes from the inside out. They rediscover simple pleasures that we often take for granted such as a sunny day , a good nap, and a pleasant day.
I know when I got home from my lung cancer surgery in 2005 the very first thing I did was take my walker and go across to the school grounds and sit on a big boulder and just be in nature and listen. To just soak it in. It was a cold February day but I never noticed . I was gone so long my husband went to find me as I was supposed to be on bedrest. But I just wanted to savor the moment. The sunshine was breathtaking even though it was fifty degrees. The grass seemed much greener than before and the birds singing getting ready for spring was like angels singing to me . I sat there almost two hours and I will never see things through the same eyes again.
If you had one month to live you would most likely slow down and take a different approach to each and every day you had left.
In this busy busy world with technology at our fingertips we have forgotten how to relax. We have difficulty spending time alone. We don't know how to connect with ourselves or those we love the most.
We are always moving up the ladder to the next big promotion , bigger car or bigger house trying to satisfy ourselves. And the more we make the more we spend. So we never really get "caught up". And the empty hole is never filled . I have preached so many times on the God shaped hole. You can fill with everything in life you want to but only He can fill that space he was meant to be in.
The desires we have aren't always bad it is what motivates them that is troubling.
The secret to faith filled maturity is to be changed from the inside out , a metamorphosis of the soul. Like a butterfly , a caterpillar forms from a chrysalis and begins the process of tunring into something beautiful with wings. It doesn't wait for something to change , it changes from the inside out , all that it is created to be.
Too often we wait on something external to change us . But all the reasons in the world we can think of for not changing only delays the inevitable if we're serious about having healthy , dynamic souls.
I have heard the saying since I was a rebellious teen, that "wherever you go , there you are" and for years didn't have a clue what it meant. You can run but you can't hide. It's not about what's on the outside , it's what's in the inside .
I have also done a lot of volunteer work. i went to Pascagoula Mississippi after Hurrican Katrina , I was volunteer of the year at my son's school when he was in kindergarten, and volunteered to be there with oe of my very best friends in ninety nine when she took her last breath as her children could not bear it. I have found that in these times where I am offering up myself for service , for something or someone who can't give anything in return is when I can connect fully and enage with my soul , and it's also when I think about bringing about more change ,from the inside out.
Plan this week to spend one hour alone and uninteruppted.Go where you will not be disturbed . Take nothing to do while you are there and just ponder on how you can go about making changes , even small ones , to help you start to change from the inside out.out
Thursday February 18, 2010 Day 18
Today was about the Winds of Change
This is very dear to my heart and the first thing that comes to mind is our blended family. I was married for eighteen years and and had the husband , a successful business and the white picket fence to boot. When we divorced I still remember to this day my youngest child telling me on the phone while visiting her Dad, at eight years old "Mom I don't WANT our family to be broken up!" while her voice was quivering. How do you tell your child that you can't live in an abusive situation any longer? That you finally realize that by your actions you are teaching your girls WHAT to look for in a man and that you are teaching your son HOW to be a man?
She's not old enough to understand nor does she care, she just wants her family as she knows it to continue.
So , yes I know all about change. I have had many in my life but I think it was one of the biggest.
When changes in life come alomg we must choose how we respond.We all at some point or another get blindsided by an unexpected tragedy or crisis. We can't change these hurricanes that blow into our lives but we can learn from prior storms. And storms will come ..sooner or later. The only permenant thing in life is change. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "To everything there is a season , a time for every purpose under heaven".
The winds of change will either make you stronger or knock you out of the race. Change is just a part of life. In marriages problems will either draw you closer or destroy your relationship. Changes can destroy your spirit or make you stronger than ever. It can snuff out your dreams or inspire you. It all depends on how you respond.
In the middle of blows taht life deals us we can be tempted to cling to the past and the way thing used to be. Everyone knows someone who can't adapt to change. The wind shifts directions and they scramble for security. They keep reminising about the "good ole days".
The reality is if we don't adapt to the winds of change we will never enjoy life. Change is frightening , uncertain, and can create anxiety but it also can be healthy, dynamic , refreshing and necessary. We must embrace the fact that our ship will encounter storms at times. Life is not found in navigating around these winds of change :the abundant life is found IN these life changes. For a long time kept waiting for things to get better , for things to settle down, for things to go my way so my Real life could begin, then I realized this WAS my life and it was passing me by.
God doesn't cause the painful things in our life but He does use them and wants to bring good out of them. I try and find a positive for every negative. I have dishes to wash because I have food to eat.
Reality makes us change how we view the world and perspective can clarify our priorities. If you only had one month to live you would only want to focus on today , but in our crazy busy world we often lose sight of what matters most.
While we must learn to adapt to change we must also must know when to stay fixed in place.
When hurricane winds blow into your life, remember that God knows right where you are. Maybe it feels like He isn't even around and you are all alone. Even when you don't feel His presense He is right there beside you , He has never left. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future". No matter how devastating the storm, He will see you through it .
How has your faith sustained you through some of lifes storms? With the last storm you went through, what did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about God?
Spend some time in prayer thanking Him for being your anchor and for the ways He conTinually takes care of you , no matter what the circumstance.
This is very dear to my heart and the first thing that comes to mind is our blended family. I was married for eighteen years and and had the husband , a successful business and the white picket fence to boot. When we divorced I still remember to this day my youngest child telling me on the phone while visiting her Dad, at eight years old "Mom I don't WANT our family to be broken up!" while her voice was quivering. How do you tell your child that you can't live in an abusive situation any longer? That you finally realize that by your actions you are teaching your girls WHAT to look for in a man and that you are teaching your son HOW to be a man?
She's not old enough to understand nor does she care, she just wants her family as she knows it to continue.
So , yes I know all about change. I have had many in my life but I think it was one of the biggest.
When changes in life come alomg we must choose how we respond.We all at some point or another get blindsided by an unexpected tragedy or crisis. We can't change these hurricanes that blow into our lives but we can learn from prior storms. And storms will come ..sooner or later. The only permenant thing in life is change. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "To everything there is a season , a time for every purpose under heaven".
The winds of change will either make you stronger or knock you out of the race. Change is just a part of life. In marriages problems will either draw you closer or destroy your relationship. Changes can destroy your spirit or make you stronger than ever. It can snuff out your dreams or inspire you. It all depends on how you respond.
In the middle of blows taht life deals us we can be tempted to cling to the past and the way thing used to be. Everyone knows someone who can't adapt to change. The wind shifts directions and they scramble for security. They keep reminising about the "good ole days".
The reality is if we don't adapt to the winds of change we will never enjoy life. Change is frightening , uncertain, and can create anxiety but it also can be healthy, dynamic , refreshing and necessary. We must embrace the fact that our ship will encounter storms at times. Life is not found in navigating around these winds of change :the abundant life is found IN these life changes. For a long time kept waiting for things to get better , for things to settle down, for things to go my way so my Real life could begin, then I realized this WAS my life and it was passing me by.
God doesn't cause the painful things in our life but He does use them and wants to bring good out of them. I try and find a positive for every negative. I have dishes to wash because I have food to eat.
Reality makes us change how we view the world and perspective can clarify our priorities. If you only had one month to live you would only want to focus on today , but in our crazy busy world we often lose sight of what matters most.
While we must learn to adapt to change we must also must know when to stay fixed in place.
When hurricane winds blow into your life, remember that God knows right where you are. Maybe it feels like He isn't even around and you are all alone. Even when you don't feel His presense He is right there beside you , He has never left. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future". No matter how devastating the storm, He will see you through it .
How has your faith sustained you through some of lifes storms? With the last storm you went through, what did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about God?
Spend some time in prayer thanking Him for being your anchor and for the ways He conTinually takes care of you , no matter what the circumstance.
Tuesday February 16,2010 Day 16
Discovering Who You Were meant To Be
Who am I ? What is my niche , my passion? Who have you created me to be?
How do we discover who we were meant to be?
I do not believe that anyone was born by accident but that we are all born with a purpose. I think whatever our purpose is it is meant to ultimately glorify Him but I also think it should bring us joy along the way.
I feel closest to God and closer to who I am when i am in nature. The oceans, the woods, even a gentle breeze , you have to realize then that there is a God in the grand scheme of things. That there is a Master designer.
I know people at different times in their lives say "I need to find myself" I think at this point and time they have quit really living and are merely existing. They don't know their place in life and have forgotten who they are .
I also believe that you think at different times in your life that you are made for different things. I know when I was thirty two when my health began to fail and I could not be a EMT or Nurse that I really began to struggle with who am I ?
Now I know years later that I was so consumed with my career that I did not know who I was outside of that identity. It forced me to look at other avenues of who am I really? Which was a good thing. I don't think we are made to just be worker bees.
I realized then , after a few years, that my gardening skiils were a lot more broader versions than I thought, that I had writing skills, and that i could enjoy sometimes just being able to take the kids to school myself.
Satan tells us that we are no good. That even if we did try something we would falter. You have failed and are worthless. He tries to shatter our confidence and who we are made to be. But God's word says "You are my child. You are a child of the King. You are forgiven . You are valuable. You are worth So much to me I gave my own son. You are worth that much. Ephesians 2:10 says "We are Gods workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to good works , which God prepared in advance for us to do"
You must gravitate towards your strengths. We are taught to be "well rounded " from a young age. To follow tradition , to color inside the lines and to stay inside the box. But God never meant for us to be well rounded. He has gifted each of us uniquely. We are supposed to focus on what we are good at and let go of what we're not good at. I am not a good singer! I do sing a big part of most days as I love to praise Him and to Him it's a joyful noise, but I would never try out for a singing part. But I am working on being a better writer, a better communicator and a better person. Our greatest potential lies in the areas of our greatest strengths.
We learn more about who we are by focusing on Him, as we are created in His image.
As we develop a closer relationship with our creator as the source of who we are, we become more like Him and it hinders the enemy's attempts to steal our identity.
Make a list of your strengths, everything you can think of, now go back over your list and and beside each one write how much time this past week you have devoted to using or improving this gift.
Who am I ? What is my niche , my passion? Who have you created me to be?
How do we discover who we were meant to be?
I do not believe that anyone was born by accident but that we are all born with a purpose. I think whatever our purpose is it is meant to ultimately glorify Him but I also think it should bring us joy along the way.
I feel closest to God and closer to who I am when i am in nature. The oceans, the woods, even a gentle breeze , you have to realize then that there is a God in the grand scheme of things. That there is a Master designer.
I know people at different times in their lives say "I need to find myself" I think at this point and time they have quit really living and are merely existing. They don't know their place in life and have forgotten who they are .
I also believe that you think at different times in your life that you are made for different things. I know when I was thirty two when my health began to fail and I could not be a EMT or Nurse that I really began to struggle with who am I ?
Now I know years later that I was so consumed with my career that I did not know who I was outside of that identity. It forced me to look at other avenues of who am I really? Which was a good thing. I don't think we are made to just be worker bees.
I realized then , after a few years, that my gardening skiils were a lot more broader versions than I thought, that I had writing skills, and that i could enjoy sometimes just being able to take the kids to school myself.
Satan tells us that we are no good. That even if we did try something we would falter. You have failed and are worthless. He tries to shatter our confidence and who we are made to be. But God's word says "You are my child. You are a child of the King. You are forgiven . You are valuable. You are worth So much to me I gave my own son. You are worth that much. Ephesians 2:10 says "We are Gods workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to good works , which God prepared in advance for us to do"
You must gravitate towards your strengths. We are taught to be "well rounded " from a young age. To follow tradition , to color inside the lines and to stay inside the box. But God never meant for us to be well rounded. He has gifted each of us uniquely. We are supposed to focus on what we are good at and let go of what we're not good at. I am not a good singer! I do sing a big part of most days as I love to praise Him and to Him it's a joyful noise, but I would never try out for a singing part. But I am working on being a better writer, a better communicator and a better person. Our greatest potential lies in the areas of our greatest strengths.
We learn more about who we are by focusing on Him, as we are created in His image.
As we develop a closer relationship with our creator as the source of who we are, we become more like Him and it hinders the enemy's attempts to steal our identity.
Make a list of your strengths, everything you can think of, now go back over your list and and beside each one write how much time this past week you have devoted to using or improving this gift.
Friday, February 19, 2010
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