Friday February 19, 2010 Day 19

Changing from the Inside out
People who are at the end of their lives often make radical life changes. They make amends, quit cussing, spend time with God and alone , and spend time with those they love.
I have noticed many times when being with my patients who are nearing the end that get this "distance " if you will, between them and their loved ones and the world itself. I think it is because they are beginning to accept their fate and are also in the middle of big changes from the inside out. They rediscover simple pleasures that we often take for granted such as a sunny day , a good nap, and a pleasant day.
I know when I got home from my lung cancer surgery in 2005 the very first thing I did was take my walker and go across to the school grounds and sit on a big boulder and just be in nature and listen. To just soak it in. It was a cold February day but I never noticed . I was gone so long my husband went to find me as I was supposed to be on bedrest. But I just wanted to savor the moment. The sunshine was breathtaking even though it was fifty degrees. The grass seemed much greener than before and the birds singing getting ready for spring was like angels singing to me . I sat there almost two hours and I will never see things through the same eyes again.
If you had one month to live you would most likely slow down and take a different approach to each and every day you had left.
In this busy busy world with technology at our fingertips we have forgotten how to relax. We have difficulty spending time alone. We don't know how to connect with ourselves or those we love the most.
We are always moving up the ladder to the next big promotion , bigger car or bigger house trying to satisfy ourselves. And the more we make the more we spend. So we never really get "caught up". And the empty hole is never filled . I have preached so many times on the God shaped hole. You can fill with everything in life you want to but only He can fill that space he was meant to be in.
The desires we have aren't always bad it is what motivates them that is troubling.
The secret to faith filled maturity is to be changed from the inside out , a metamorphosis of the soul. Like a butterfly , a caterpillar forms from a chrysalis and begins the process of tunring into something beautiful with wings. It doesn't wait for something to change , it changes from the inside out , all that it is created to be.
Too often we wait on something external to change us . But all the reasons in the world we can think of for not changing only delays the inevitable if we're serious about having healthy , dynamic souls.
I have heard the saying since I was a rebellious teen, that "wherever you go , there you are" and for years didn't have a clue what it meant. You can run but you can't hide. It's not about what's on the outside , it's what's in the inside .
I have also done a lot of volunteer work. i went to Pascagoula Mississippi after Hurrican Katrina , I was volunteer of the year at my son's school when he was in kindergarten, and volunteered to be there with oe of my very best friends in ninety nine when she took her last breath as her children could not bear it. I have found that in these times where I am offering up myself for service , for something or someone who can't give anything in return is when I can connect fully and enage with my soul , and it's also when I think about bringing about more change ,from the inside out.
Plan this week to spend one hour alone and uninteruppted.Go where you will not be disturbed . Take nothing to do while you are there and just ponder on how you can go about making changes , even small ones , to help you start to change from the inside out.out